The V-day invasion (of the mall)

Well, the big day is getting closer. It's V-day people, let's get into uniform and try to find intelligent ways to express our love this year. A Valentine's card and a quick peck on the cheek ain't gonna cut it guys.
And I am talking to my fellow males out there. We have earned a reputation for being pretty lame when it comes to the romance department anymore. The longer we are in a relationship, the faster that ability to woo the woman we chose starts to atrophy. It's like some kind of clinical disease that affects half of the population. There really ought to be a telethon to find a cure. Maybe if we got Julia Roberts and Kathryn-Zeta Jones to host it?
I'm partial to Meg Ryan myself.
But back to the topic at hand.
I'm trying to put together something nice for Sandra for Valentine's day. She has tournaments that she is hosting on a website that night, but I'm all for trying anyway. She puts up with so much from me. I'm lazy and a slob much of the time, and I don't spend enough time doing the things that I used to. Bubble baths and hour long massages, you get the idea. I used to do that for her all of the time.
At one time, we were regular visitors to an on-line chat room. She would tell the girls all about the things that I had done for her that night, and they would get jealous and ask how she got me so well trained. The guys used to yell at me to stop, that I was making them look bad.
It's high time I got back into the routine of doing little things like that again.
It is the smallest, daily things that mean the most too. Remember to say "I love you" before going out of the door. A quick shoulder massage while she's at the computer can go a long way too. Pulling out all of the stops on Valentine's Day, Christmas and her birthday (You do remember her birthday, don't you?) just doesn't cut it, bub. Women are like investments, it's for the long term, and if you want to see any kind of return, you have to check with them often.
I have just offended every female who reads this post. It's so hard comparing women to anything. If there is a way to put your foot in your mouth, a guy can find it just by opening his.
So, let's get ready to hit the romantic beaches gentlemen! Get your kit together, we launch at dawn of February 14th. There are no excuses this year, short of death or losing your job because you didn't take that business flight. Even then, get the gift and card now, just in case.