Stupid things I do.

As many of you know, I have muscular dystrophy, and therefore have a problem with stairs and heavy lifting. Well, the last two days, I did something very foolish. I got up on a ladder and painted a ceiling.

There had been a leak in the apartment above, and that resulted in a stain on the ceiling in question. Rather than hand the company the expense of repairing the damage, I figured that I could just step up and paint over it. Big mistake.

By the time I was finished yesterday, I was aching all over from the strain of getting up the ladder and reaching to do the painting. I have a bruise on my right shin from where I banged it against the ladder at some point, and I have multiple strains.

I don't know where I would be without my wife. She massaged my aches, right through all of my whining and complaining. She even got out the muscle lotion to try and ease my right thigh and back muscles. She is a woman of great patience when I do stupid things like this to myself. Anyone else would have told me to stop bellyaching and just deal with the consequences.

Needless to say, any other such work is going to have to be done by professionals.

What my father taught me.

I didn't realize it at the time, but my father taught me a lot of the things that I was ever going to need in life. He didn't sit me down and lecture me about them, he just always did things a certain way. Leadership by example is what they call it today.

One of the first rules he taught me was that if you give your word, you bloody well keep it. My father is one of the most trustworthy people I have ever had the good fortune to know. When he told somebody that he would be someplace, he was there, even if he had to walk. If Dad said that he would pay somebody for something, it was paid, on time, and gladly. I suspect he is one of the few people who still believe that a promise made on a handshake is just as binding as anything on paper.

Another or my father's rules for life is that you always treat any female, regardless of age or social station as a lady. This wasn't really explained in any way. It just got ingrained in me that you were always polite to a lady, until she proved herself otherwise. Doors are to be held open, jackets are to be helped on with, things like that. Now, a lot of that training came from my mother, but Dad always backed it up.

The rule that he most definitely taught me was that a man always takes care of the tools he works with each day. He has always been very careful about cleaning out paint brushes and making sure his saw did not get rusty. He makes tools last far longer than your average guy. It shows respect for the tools that allow you to make a living. Many is the time I've taken extra care with something that I use, be it kitchen equipment or a paint brush, and gotten odd looks from coworkers. I just hate to see a tool misused or carelessly thrown about.

My father taught me about commitment, honesty and respect.

Why don't these things take until we grow up a bit?

Joe upgraded?

I had been thinking about upgrades to the computer that I use everyday. After all, it is five years old now, and was likely obsolete the moment it came out of the box. Technology moves so quickly these days. Naturally, these are the changes I would make if I had all kinds of money, so it is more of a wish list than anything else.

A web cam of decent quality would be nice. That way people who I chat with could actually see me if they so chose. And if I had bothered to get decent that day. Instant messaging is something I use fairly often, so this is a device that would get a lot of use. In that same vein, I would like to have an even better quality microphone, one that is voice activated and that I don't have to have stuck to the side of my face. Maybe as part of the web cam?

Another good feature to have would be voice print. I would like to be able to dictate a letter or commands, and not have to type so much. My fingers don't always do exactly what I tell them to these days. Besides which, it might be nice to try a hands-free approach to computing.

The drawback is that everyone else's computer would have to be capable of receiving all of this media. I have tried using my microphone to at least get voice communication, but it seems like nobody is set up for it. None of the people I chat with anyway.

Maybe an upgrade isn't so important after all. Just slow down my typing and keep this system running at best performance.

When it's not fun anymore

My wife is part of an on-line bingo and other game league. She hosts two tournaments each night. This is strictly for fun, and a volunteer thing. She doesn't get anything out of hosting other than chatting with her friends.

Tonight, one of the head administrators got all upset with her because a member who had not registered in time was not able to play in her second tournament. This upset Sandra very much. She tries so hard to keep the members happy, and it isn't easy getting players for the second tournament slot, so when there are enough, she closes and begins on schedule.

I don't think it was fair to yell at her because somebody couldn't register in time.

When something like this becomes more like a job than a hobby, when do you just say "to hell with it" and let it go? She really enjoys the league, and so many of the people she has encountered through it. It would be a shame to have her drop her hobby because somebody was upset one night.

I think we need to sit back and remember why we joined this league to begin with. If it isn't fun, what is the point?

Upon entering a residence.

Nothing quite so philosophical today.

I want to talk about housekeeping.

It's odd, but you can tell an awful lot about a person from the way that they keep their home. I say this with authority, because I have had occasion to be in a number of apartments in the last two weeks. The difference between a residence and home can be felt within three feet of the door. It isn't always the obvious things either that will give away how much a person cares about where they live.

One place I was in recently was done up with homey touches. A mirror here, a prized possession there. Little pieces of the tenant's history were in the entry. It was like being welcomed into her life a bit to walk through the door. Another had just a clean hallway, with things set neatly to one side. Still, it said to me that she liked to be organized, and that if you were willing to abide by her rules, you would be welcome. A third place had things haphazardly thrown about, with some attempt at keeping order, but not much success. That was a home with somebody who just tries to keep up with things as they happen.

Guys as a rule go one of two ways. Either the place is a pigsty, because that is the way they live their lives at home, or they keep things regimented and orderly. Few men go to the trouble of arranging things for show, in my experience. Once in a while you will see something like a family picture or a favorite piece of art, but most guys can't be put to the bother. Either it's too much effort, or it would be seen as a useless waste of wall space.

Myself, I'd like to decorate with a combination of functionality and family warmth. I want people to know that they are entering a home, not just a place that I happen to live. At the same time, I want it to be obvious where things belong.

My wife is a wonder at making these touches just right. I think, with her choices, she creates a feel in the foyer of our unit that says, "This is us."

There is a saying about first impressions. It applies to feelings as well as tangibles. Our homes can either feel like one, or not. It all depends on who we are and how we live.

Time travels

Ever ask yourself, "Where did the time go?" You may have noted more than once that I've used that phrase, or something to that effect in this blog. Time seems to slip away in a blur, now and then, okay, frequently. If you aren't paying attention, whole days and weeks can go by, and you missed something.

From a strictly quantum physics point of view, I think time goes outward, towards the direction of galactic expansion. If one could point to a place and say, "The universe began here," then we could as easily say that time began then, and has moved outward along with the stars and galaxies. Given the speed at which the universe is calculated to be expanding, time really does fly, fast.

Let's think for a moment about how we define time. The world we live in has three basic dimensions; length, width and depth. Once you have those, you can have motion through them. From that motion, we take the fourth dimension, time. Otherwise known as how long it take to move from one point of the spacial dimensions to another. Now, given the four dimensions that we have just defined, there are many more possible, but let's try to keep it simple.

This also explains how time can be relative, depending on who is doing the measuring. It takes a person with smaller strides much longer to get to one point than it takes a person with a longer stride to cover the same distance. What to you or me feels like a mere minute, could, to a mouse feel like an hour.

Then again, we have decided, in our human way, to standardize time, based on the units of the year, month, week and day. Beyond that, we are obsessed with breaking it down still more.

I think the trick to a more peaceful life, is to get away from defining time beyond the day level. Sure, we have to know the hour of certain events in our lives, but defining ourselves by where we spend our time is a mistake, I believe. The day will go on whether you stop to watch the sunset or not. It will go on even if you take time to write that letter to your grandmother, or decide that the carpet has to be vacuumed now.

Time travels outward, away from us. Maybe, if we paid more attention to it, we could get the most out of it.

Feeling useful.

Never underestimate the value of feeling useful in one's life. Sometimes, it makes all of the difference in the world.

The worst thing about having been diagnosed with a disability, was being told by my doctor that I should immediately apply for a disability pension. To my way of thinking, this was next door to a death sentence. I've always defined myself by my ability to do for others. If I were sitting around on a pension, I might as well be a helpless child again.

While I do not have the experience or training for office work, or some other sedentary employment, I prefer to be doing something to earn my keep. In an agricultural and industrial region like south east Ontario, there isn't a whole lot of work to go around. Not without the right skills.

I've had to make peace with the fact that I cannot do a lot of the things that I used to. I cannot help others in the manner that I was accustomed to. No amount of moping or complaining can change my physiology.

Recently, I've been hired as an assistant superintendent for the building that I live in. The work is never supposed to be so heavy that I cannot do it. Mostly, it's just being a presence in the building on behalf of the landlord, so that tenants have somebody to talk to when there is a problem. Most of the job is handling the request paperwork.

In this first month, I've done a few other things. I've unclogged sinks and toilets. I've supervised the changing of locks. I have handled problems with refrigerators. (I didn't do the work myself, but I made sure that things got moved and fixed.) Little things like towel bars and the like I can handle.

I haven't felt so useful in several years. The only ones who had any real use for me were my wife and family. It is good to know that I still have something to contribute.

When my late father-in-law retired from work with the Provincial Park Service, he didn't have a plan of what he was going to do with his time. As a result, he didn't get exercise and his diet was a nutritionist's nightmare. It wasn't too long after that when he had a heart attack. The second attack is what killed him.

I don't care how you make yourself useful and active. Volunteer with an organization. Help out a neighbour with a project. For that matter, get a hobby that you enjoy. Just be active and do something that makes you feel useful. I think you will live better for it.

The New World Order

I was reading a story the other day, and there were some references to the Holocaust and the clan. It is hard to believe, in this day and age, that there are still pockets of Nazis and other racist, fascist groups out there. Did a pile of people somehow miss the fact that we are well into the first decade of the 21st century?

It's a little hard for me to come to terms with the entire concept of "the master race". While I was growing up, it was always pointed out to me that there was only one race, the human one. We lived in a small town, so ethnic diversity was a little hard to come by, and prejudice was more on a socio-economic level. When I first started learning about segregation and the genocides of the past, it all just made me so sick.

I do agree, sometimes, that there needs to be a new world order. However, it cannot be based on exclusivity. The only way a civilization can survive is to take the best of its parts, and incorporate them into the whole. Where as Hitler and the Apartheid government of South Africa sought to eliminate the "pollution of the pure race", I think they had it backwards.

The world can never be whole so long as one group of people feels it has the right to be in charge of everything. Wisdom is knowing that you will never be everything, and that supporting one another is the way to get things done. That applies in genetics as well as political endeavours. When you try to breed out the "perfect human" what you wind up with is usually a genetic anomaly or a person lacking defences against disease. Look at the royal families of 19th century Europe. They in bred for so long, they had problems with hemophilia and similar disorders.

No, in my version of the new world order, there would be no more attempts to separate the ethnic groups. Marriage of any couple that loved each other would be encouraged. Eventually, genetics would produce a group of humans with all of the advantages of each background. Sure, there will always be problems with the evolution of the human form, but best to spread the genetic net than fish from a single line.

We don't need a "master race", we need a guardian race. In centuries to come, humans will evolve to be the species that cares for this planet, keeping it safe from the ravages that we currently inflict upon it. We will learn to harness resources to care for ourselves without damaging the ecosystem. Our population will find its balance with what the world can sustain. We will learn to work together toward what is truly best for our civilization.

It's a choice, we either learn and grow, or die off fighting over things that don't really matter in the big scheme of things.

I choose to grow.

A boost to self esteem.

I got a major shot in the arm today.

The other day, I was in an on-line discussion forum, and posted that I felt my writing was crap compared to what I had read recently. While I still feel that I am very much lacking as a writer, the response to that remark has made me feel infinitely better.

One person said that my statement was patently bullsh*t, and that everything he had read by me was of a very high standard. Another reminded me that the only person I have to compare myself to is me, yesterday. Have I improved since then? The general consensus is that while being critical of my own work is a good thing, I went to far by calling it garbage.

Maybe sometimes we do harsh on ourselves a little bit too much. We want what we do to be good and noteworthy. If we forget the reason we took up writing, drawing or whatever, the fun goes out of it, and then what is the point? There is a fine line between being critical and wanting it right, and being obsessive.

So a big thank you to those who took my head out of my a**. I think maybe now I can get on with the chapters I have on my plate and feel better about it. At the very least, I can have fun.

Our Mellissa

A happy birthday to my second oldest niece, Mellissa-Anne!

She is another reminder that I don't have any little girls anymore. I actually have to look up to her, even if she isn't wearing heels, which she can now do confidently. I swear that one of these days I'm going to have to start standing on chairs. Being looked down on by these girls is depressing.

In all seriousness though, they have grown up much better than I could have hoped. For the most part, they are good, honest and independent young women. Mellissa has come farther than we had hoped when she was little. Maybe a rough start kind of helped get things going.

She's decided on a career already, and is working towards it. She is already looking at colleges, and she still has two more years of high school. If she is pulling in Cs, she wants to be bringing home a B. If she's getting Bs, she wants to shoot for the A. This isn't a little girl anymore, this is a full blown young woman.

We are all proud of how far you've come Mellissa, and are behind you, wherever you decide to go. Just remember to come back and visit once in a while.

Commitments

I was going to do a write up about the Fourth of July, but something happened today that put that by the wayside.

I was woken this morning by a phone call from the property manager of the building. They needed to show an apartment, and wanted me to check with one of the tenants if it would be okay to show hers. This was fairly early in the morning, and I was doing good to find my glasses. So, I walked over there and, afraid that I might be waking up the nice lady, knocked on the door.

Fortunately, the good woman had been up for hours already, and didn't mind if we took a person through, to show the amenities.

The person never showed up! We waited for more than half an hour, and she never came. Not so much as a phone call to explain that they would not be here. In my book, that is just the height of rudeness. If you make an appointment to be someplace, you had better darn well be there!

My parents brought me up to believe that punctuality wasn't just a courtesy. It is an obligation. If I say I'm going to be somewhere, you'd better believe that I'll be there, or at least let you know what happened.

I think the problem is that we aren't as committed to things now as past generations were. We want everything to run according to our schedules, and we want it now. We have forgotten that it is a two way street. If we want the respect, we have to be willing to show it first. To me, it is part and parcel of being a proper gentleman, to always say what you mean and mean what you say.

I always put my watch on in the morning, usually right after my glasses. I check the time regularly. If I have an appointment, I always try to be five minutes early.

It all goes back to courtesy, respect for the other, and just being a good person. I hope that when people meet me, I make a decent impression.

Another Canada Day

It's that day again, time to celebrate the birth of our nation. Canada is 131 today. Odd, she doesn't look a day over 100. Ooh, bad Joe. Bad Joe.

Even in troubled times, Canada is still the only place I could ever see as home. I know that as long as I live under the maple leaf, I am going to be helped and allowed to help. Debate socialism all you want, but I wouldn't give up the health care system we have for all of the tea in China. I am free to be who I want to be, as long as I do not take that right from anyone else.

So far, Canada has not fallen into the economic quagmire that so many other nations have. Our economy isn't growing at the rate we might like, but it hasn't stalled quite yet either.

We are starting to learn as a society. We are looking for clean alternative energies, even as we supply so much of the world with crude oil. More and more people are conserving and recycling. It is in our best interests, not just ecologically but financially, to do so.

Enjoy the day, Canadians, and join us if you can from other places.