Feeling useful.

Never underestimate the value of feeling useful in one's life. Sometimes, it makes all of the difference in the world.

The worst thing about having been diagnosed with a disability, was being told by my doctor that I should immediately apply for a disability pension. To my way of thinking, this was next door to a death sentence. I've always defined myself by my ability to do for others. If I were sitting around on a pension, I might as well be a helpless child again.

While I do not have the experience or training for office work, or some other sedentary employment, I prefer to be doing something to earn my keep. In an agricultural and industrial region like south east Ontario, there isn't a whole lot of work to go around. Not without the right skills.

I've had to make peace with the fact that I cannot do a lot of the things that I used to. I cannot help others in the manner that I was accustomed to. No amount of moping or complaining can change my physiology.

Recently, I've been hired as an assistant superintendent for the building that I live in. The work is never supposed to be so heavy that I cannot do it. Mostly, it's just being a presence in the building on behalf of the landlord, so that tenants have somebody to talk to when there is a problem. Most of the job is handling the request paperwork.

In this first month, I've done a few other things. I've unclogged sinks and toilets. I've supervised the changing of locks. I have handled problems with refrigerators. (I didn't do the work myself, but I made sure that things got moved and fixed.) Little things like towel bars and the like I can handle.

I haven't felt so useful in several years. The only ones who had any real use for me were my wife and family. It is good to know that I still have something to contribute.

When my late father-in-law retired from work with the Provincial Park Service, he didn't have a plan of what he was going to do with his time. As a result, he didn't get exercise and his diet was a nutritionist's nightmare. It wasn't too long after that when he had a heart attack. The second attack is what killed him.

I don't care how you make yourself useful and active. Volunteer with an organization. Help out a neighbour with a project. For that matter, get a hobby that you enjoy. Just be active and do something that makes you feel useful. I think you will live better for it.