Priorities and Boundaries

Recently, I have had to spell out on paper what hours tenants in the building I live in as Superintendent can contact me. It was getting to the point that I never knew who would be at my door, and what for. Most of the time, it is for something that is not even in my job description to handle.

Sometimes, we all have to sit down and think about what is most important to us, and set boundaries as to how much one item on the list can impinge on another. Our lives have become so full, with work, scheduled activities and other commitments, that we forget to take stock of just what really means anything to us.

We've started at a much younger age too. There are children as young as six who live their lives by a calendar posted on the kitchen wall. Hockey, soccer, piano... the list is endless. By the time these kids reach their mid teens, they are already burnt out. Is it really any wonder that so many turn to lives of drugs and/or addiction to video games? When do we start to rethink just how involved we really need to be?

Only a generation ago, families had a lot more time together. Even if both parents had to be working to make ends meet, it seems like there was more time spent talking, rather than each person in his/her room on a computer or in front of a television screen. Most homes only had one or two of either to begin with.

Maybe it's time we all stepped back, one or two days out of the week. Leave the work on the desk for a few hours. Don't plan, just do. It doesn't even have to be anything big and exciting. Maybe just a favorite meal, sitting around the table and finding out what everyone has been up to over the week.

That used to be what Sunday suppers were for. The family sat together and summed up their lives for the week, and looked ahead to what needed to be done in the week ahead, and what could be put off.

I have not even reached middle age, and sometimes I long for something as simple as sitting at a table with the people that mean something to me and just finding out where they have been and where they are going. Norman Rockwell, eat your heart out.

Time allotment.

I have been spending a lot of time on the computer lately, not doing anything of real importance, but I'm almost always sitting at the darned thing. I'm thinking that it might be time to get out of this chair once in a while and let the modem cool down. Real life is out there waiting for me.

There are things I do on the computer that I really don't want to give up, like chatting with friends that I really can't talk with any other way, and writing my little fan fiction stories. Those are some of the reasons I have the computer, really. Next to paying bills and the volunteer stuff I do for the church.

Maybe I should just shut down a little earlier each night, and settle in with a coffee and my books. I haven't taken nearly enough time to read. And if Sandra is up and not online, we could spend some more quality time together. She does her things in the evening, so the late morning and early afternoon should be our time.

Now that I do have some limited responsibilities around the building, time is getting to be a more valuable commodity. Time to rethink how I use it.

Upon entering a residence.

Nothing quite so philosophical today.

I want to talk about housekeeping.

It's odd, but you can tell an awful lot about a person from the way that they keep their home. I say this with authority, because I have had occasion to be in a number of apartments in the last two weeks. The difference between a residence and home can be felt within three feet of the door. It isn't always the obvious things either that will give away how much a person cares about where they live.

One place I was in recently was done up with homey touches. A mirror here, a prized possession there. Little pieces of the tenant's history were in the entry. It was like being welcomed into her life a bit to walk through the door. Another had just a clean hallway, with things set neatly to one side. Still, it said to me that she liked to be organized, and that if you were willing to abide by her rules, you would be welcome. A third place had things haphazardly thrown about, with some attempt at keeping order, but not much success. That was a home with somebody who just tries to keep up with things as they happen.

Guys as a rule go one of two ways. Either the place is a pigsty, because that is the way they live their lives at home, or they keep things regimented and orderly. Few men go to the trouble of arranging things for show, in my experience. Once in a while you will see something like a family picture or a favorite piece of art, but most guys can't be put to the bother. Either it's too much effort, or it would be seen as a useless waste of wall space.

Myself, I'd like to decorate with a combination of functionality and family warmth. I want people to know that they are entering a home, not just a place that I happen to live. At the same time, I want it to be obvious where things belong.

My wife is a wonder at making these touches just right. I think, with her choices, she creates a feel in the foyer of our unit that says, "This is us."

There is a saying about first impressions. It applies to feelings as well as tangibles. Our homes can either feel like one, or not. It all depends on who we are and how we live.

Fresh and in season

My wife and I went out to get a basket of fresh strawberries today. With the sudden rise of temperature this spring, and the recent rainfall, the crop came in early this year. We love to have the berries for dessert on warm summer evenings.

I love the idea of buying locally grown produce whenever possible. It is better for the environment and better for the economy of the area. Farmers markets are a great boon, with the best produce that can be had, at the best possible price, since it didn't have to be shipped. You always know that it is fresh, and hasn't been sitting in trucks and warehouses for the last six days.

Ottawa's Byward Market used to be one of my favorite places in the world. The smells, the colors and the sounds just screamed out to me each fall. I would think that most cities would set aside some space for a good farmers market.

When my parents came to visit with me once, we made a trip to the Byward Market, especially to get some fresh produce to make supper. Is there anything can beat a salad made with lettuce picked less than twenty-four hours previously? I think not.

So, go out and support your local farmers. Plan meals around whatever happens to be in season. Your local economy will thank you, the environment will thank you, and most importantly, you stomach will thank you.

A slower pace

Yesterday, I ended with a line about cities that never sleep. I think I want to discuss that for a moment.
With the discovery of ways to keep things moving after dark, it seems like society has decided that things have to go on twenty-four hours per day. Just because we can be up all night long, we should. We demand the constant availability of good and services. Naturally, that means at least a part of the population is required to work the night shift.
Human beings evolved as diurnal, or daytime, dwellers. It is only in the last three hundred years or so that we have tried to make ourselves over. Trying to make such a dramatic change in so short a time cannot be good.
There have been some recent studies that suggest higher cancer rates occur in those who work late shifts. Disturbing the proper circadian rhythm of humans has been shown to cause a number of health problems. Insomnia, mood swings and just general fatigue are the most common. It's even been seen in astronauts, in an environment where there are no proper day/night cues.
Do we really need fast food at three in the morning? If it were not for people having to work the graveyard shift, there wouldn't be such a demand. If we just slowed down a little, and were ready to give up a little bit of convenience, maybe we could slow down the decline in our health.
I'm not suggesting we adopt the patterns of the Amish. They chose that technology-free life for their own reasons. No, I propose that we step back a little bit from the late night life. We produce enough during the day. If you want a night shift, you should ask for volunteers to do those jobs. Some people are able to adapt better than others.
Rotating shifts are another pet peeve of mine. No sooner does your system adjust to your hours, than you have to change yet again. Reaction times slow, sleep is disturbed and accidents happen.
Time to slow down a little bit folks. We evolved to work in the sun and sleep at night. Let's all get the rest we need. If we have to work at night (and there are some jobs that MUST be done at all hours) those shifts should be scheduled to last for at least one month on, one month off, giving the people working time to adjust to the change.
For the sake of your health, maybe give up the glow of neon lights.

Townscapes

While putting up the model village under the Christmas tree, I get to thinking about the way that people lived in days gone by. The model houses all have a very old European style and look to them. I generally lay them out in a pattern similar to a German village square.

If you look carefully, you can get a sense of what I mean.

What I have been thinking about is how we have lost the sense of the community center. Here in Canada, villages grew around the church, the town hall, or most often, the railway station. There was always a geographical center to any town. Modern communities don't have that anymore. Now we have subdivisions with sprinklings of malls and convenience stores.

Sometimes, I think it would be wonderful to have the opportunity to have the chance to build a town from scratch. I would build with a combination of traditional building designs, with all of the techniques and materials we have today. It would be as if I took an old village and just moved it to a site that had convenient, hidden services.

My model for the services is, of all places, Disney World in Florida. Everything comes in underground, via tunnels. Electric vehicles transport everything. All of the critical systems can be checked visually and worked on with ease. The trash is even emptied from the bins into carts in the tunnels. All of those necessary, but not really attractive things can be taken care of without spoiling the scenery.

As I have said before, I don't think the house of the future will differ that much from the homes of the past. There have been modern fads, but it is the tried and true that remains. Given all of the space that we have in this country, I don't see why we need to pile up on each other in huge cities that take up valuable land that could be used for food and energy production. City life has its' place, but I think that we can get by with smaller cities, say two hundred thousand people or so. In an age when I can write this opinion and have it criticized by hundreds from my own living room, why should we have to be all in the same square kilometre?

I eagerly await the remarks of those who are dazzled by cities that never sleep. And therein lies another blog.

Volunteering

For a while now, I have been spending a few hours each week volunteering at the Lutheran church that I was married at. The pastor has a very busy schedule, and sometimes it can be hard for her to get to all of the things that need to be done. Since my mother-in-law was going to be moving into Morrisburg anyway, I thought that it might be a good way for Sandra to get to see her, if she went with me.
Most of what I do is drafting letters, putting lists into order, and generally assisting with organization. When you are as busy as the pastor is, you have to be able to see your way through.
It feels good to be doing something useful. I've been unemployed for far too long. Pastor Norine tells me that my work has been noticed, and has made her job a lot easier.
I recommend that everyone volunteer at something at least once in their lives, for a couple of weeks at least. It doesn't have to take up all of your time. Just a couple of hours a week can make such a difference. You gain self esteem, and your hours help somebody who is in need.
It really is a shame that we have to mandate that students do volunteer work to get their diplomas. Maybe, once they have done that time though, they will discover the warm feeling that giving of themselves creates, and will continue.
Volunteers are important to so many parts of our society.

Personal home design

My wife and I are having something of a housing problem. We currently have a small, one bedroom apartment, and we really need a two bedroom apartment, for medical reasons.
That's not what this post is about.
I want to discuss architecture.
I am something of an amateur draftsman. Over the years, I've laid out the floor plans of a number of houses. Every sort of house from small log homes to larger farm houses. It's been something of a hobby. A creative outlet of sorts.
We were out for a drive a few days ago. There are a lot of new homes going up out east of us. All of them seem to be these monster dream homes. At a guess, I'd say the smallest would be well over 2000 square feet. What is the deal with these huge places? Is all of that space really necessary? I don't see the point of heating rooms that will never be used.
When I design a house, I work from the lifestyle of the people who will occupy the space. How many kids do they have? Do they host dinner parties, or do they eat in front of the TV most nights? Does someone in the family love to cook, or is meal prep all about the microwave? It seems the best way to come up with a design the is attractive, affordable, and that the owner can really live with.
All of this in mind, I got to thinking about how much space Sandra and I really need. What it boils down to is 1000 square feet. Laid out properly, that would provide enough room for the two of us, our cats and what company we ever have. It takes in my desire for a good kitchen that I can create in. It allows room for the cats to run around and have fun playing with balls of yarn.
Personally, I would get lost in a house much larger than 2500 square feet. Don't even get me started on the chore of cleaning it. Just consider the heating and cooling bills.
Something I have never understood is how designers can come up with plans that don't provide space for a television or a place to put up Christmas tree. Do they even consider the people that are supposed to live there? Model homes just don't live up to the live-in test.
What is the one thing you would most need in your dream home?