Joe's Place

The next big thing

2011-06-22T16:01:00.003-04:00

With the last Harry Potter movie due to be released in just under a month, I've been wondering what that next epic story will be. To my knowledge, no story has encompassed a total of eight feature films. It is a testament to the power of the author's work that it has managed to remain such a commercial success, given the editing that has had to be done to the last novels to make them fit into the cinematic time frame.

It still begs the question, will any movie series ever be so big?

You could argue that the Twilight and Transformers series could fit the bill, but I have a problem with that.

I mentioned that no story has encompassed eight films. Star Trek fans everywhere have probably already figuratively jumped down my throat. I don't think they count, in that the stories (with the notable exceptions of II, III and IV) stand alone. The sequels take the previous movies into consideration, but aren't necessarily part of the same story. The same can be said for Twilight and Transformers.

One large story line, such as Ms. Rowling has produced simply doesn't translate well into film for the most part. The Harry Potter series was fortunate enough to be different, and to really be one story arc, leading to the upcoming conclusion. It will be many years before we see anything similar, in my humble opinion.

If anyone feels differently, what do you believe will be the next big thing?

Weakness for cartoons.

2011-06-11T23:44:00.003-04:00

I have to admit my guilty pleasure. I am addicted to cartoons. There is nothing I enjoy so much as sitting down and watching some animation with my morning cup of coffee. It's one of my weekend rituals.

Sadly, cartoons aren't up to the standards they once were. Instead of the giggle inspiring shorts that so many of us grew up with, most are now half hour advertisements for toys and games. A lot are produced in Japan or Korea, and the stories don't necessarily translate. The ones that do still seem to "feel" odd.

I think the best example of a "proper" cartoon is still Bugs Bunny. Take one wacky character (or a string of them) and put them into the bizarre situations and wait for the laughs. Who could resist the bumbling antics of that loud mouthed rooster Foghorn Leghorn? Who didn't laugh at the pitiful attempts of Wile E. Coyote to capture and devour the lucky and blissfully uncaring roadrunner?

And just what was it that kept Acme in business all of those years?

Another old favorite was Scooby Doo, in its various incarnations. The newest versions don't have the charm of the old ones, but they are still good. Many a day, a Monkees tune will run through my head, having been one of the pieces used for a chase scene.

There are a couple of good cartoons airing on Teletoon these days. I am actually particularly fond of "G.I. Joe: Renegades". It's more of a serial than a cartoon, with each episode subtly linked to all of the others. Still, they stand well enough alone. The characters are richly filled out, even with all of their little personal mysteries. Seeing those histories brought out as the group melds is part of the charm.

Cartoons are also great educational tools. Just look at the pictures produced during World War II. Private Snafu was funny, making every mistake that a G.I. possibly could, and managing to still get across the messages that the military wanted the soldiers and civilian population alike to see.

A new one, Canadian I might add, is "The Future is Wild". It's the tale of a group of teenagers who are travelling in the distant future on a mission to save mankind from a major ice age. It uses the platform of animation to put across real science, to show what life on earth could evolve into over the span of millions of years. It uses humour to entertain, but the information is solid, or at least as solid as a panel of experts in biology, geology and botany can make it.

I don't think we should ever let ourselves outgrow the wonder that is animation. Imagine how dull and ironically two dimensional life would be without cartoons.

"Glue it and Screw it!" Mike Holmes and what he has taught me.

2011-06-09T22:14:00.003-04:00

I watch a lot of HGTV (Home and Garden Television). I've learned a lot from the shows on that channel. Most particularly, Holmes on Homes and Holmes Inspection. It's mostly about using common sense when having work done on your biggest investment.

There are times when even I can look at the houses that Mike Holmes goes through and see the defects. I would never dream to call myself an inspector, but I think I've learned the key areas to look, what to look for, and who I should turn to for those systems of a house that really need an expert opinion. Education is a wonderful thing, and that's what DIY shows are all about. The only down side is that you can get a little cynical about contractors and home inspectors.

I think the fundamental thing I've learned is that if you are going to do anything, take your time and do it right. The consequences are just too great. All too often we go into things for the sake of appearances, without looking at the base. Like floors. If you don't glue and screw down the sub floor correctly, it's going to shift on you. Then that lovely hardwood or tile is gonna be destroyed. Make the structure right, and the finish will stay nice.

Another key lesson is to pay attention to maintenance. This means, if you don't pay attention, things will get forgotten and will deteriorate. Sometimes faster than you think. When you make the big investments, you had better be ready to look after it. One small thing will lead to a mess that you just might not be able to clean up.

Most importantly is that if you plan to go into a trade, don't bother learning the tricks of the trade. LEARN THE TRADE!!! Shortcuts are for people who don't care about their work. If you would not be willing to sign your name on something and have it paraded about, don't do it. Be ready to learn new things that will make your job easier, but don't look for a quick and dirty way to do the least work and give the poorest result.

These are the things that Mike Holmes and his crew have taught me.

Another time, maybe I'll go into what Brian Baumler taught me in his work on Disaster DIY.

Plugging "The King's Speech"

2011-06-07T21:34:00.003-04:00

It's not often that I feel a movie is so great that I need to blog about it. This is one of those exceptions.

"The King's Speech" won Best Movie at the Oscars for good reason. It is a remarkable story of a man working to overcome a serious speech impediment. (For those of you who have not seen the film.) Not the least important thing about the story is that it portrays a royal as a man, a man with the same problems as those who were not born to privilege.

What I find most fascinating is that the therapist who helps the Duke of York and future King to overcome his stammer has made the connection between past experience of a person with speech problems and the stammer. In the early part of the 20th century, it was so common to put a speech impediment down to a lack of intelligence. Lionel Logue also noted the connection between speech and being forced to use the right hand when one is left handed.

Being left handed myself, I can understand the kind of problems this would cause.

It took a man with no formal training or credentials to help King George VI to make the speeches that saw a nation through its most desperate years. It was necessary for England to feel that the man who lead them was competent, forceful and intelligent. In those days, those traits were best demonstrated en masse by radio and news reels. It staggers the imagination to imagine how the world would look if England had fallen to a lack of confidence.

If you have not already seen this movie, do make the effort. The story is told through a series of touching moments and burst of comedy.

A man of inconsistency, that's me.

2011-06-06T18:16:00.002-04:00

My niece has been kind enough to point out that I have not blogged in quite some time. She used to follow my rantings pretty consistently. It doesn't matter how silly, obscure or incomprehensible the topic, she liked to read whatever spilled onto the screen.

Lately, I just haven't been up to writing much. There has been a lot of personal stuff going on, and it's not something I care to put out there for general consumption.

Unfortunately, my blog is not the only place I have failed to write lately. I have stories languishing on FanFiction.net. It really isn't fair, as it has been marked as a favorite of readers, even in my writing absence. Besides which, I have left the characters in the middle of their conflict. This isn't fair to them either. Sure, they aren't "real" people, but I've always felt a certain responsibility for them, since I've been allowed to play in the Disney company's sandbox of story ideas.

Perhaps that inconsistency is one of my greatest flaws. I have the bad habit of letting stuff going on take me away from projects. Even such projects that have given me a lot of pleasure. My niece has suggested that getting back to some of those projects and hobbies might just break me out of the funk I've been living in lately.

Well, at least here, I can do a little bit of ruminating, without having to worry about how it will affect what I will write later. A little less structure, a little more outlet.

Here's hoping I can get back to my mental roaming here, now that it has been brought back to my attention.

Bear with me.

Tracing Your Daily Steps

2011-03-26T16:47:00.004-04:00

Back to form and function.

I mentioned before that I like to design things. I've dabbled in clothing and vehicles, including boats.

Mostly, I like to design homes. Specifically, floor plans, since my decorative ideas tend to be different from other people. Colour, material, finishes, that is up to whoever has to look at the stuff. I like to design the space people live in. I even took a drafting course in high school.

The key to designing a working space is to think about how you will use it. The best way to do that is to trace the steps you take in a given day. You get up, go to the bathroom to get your day going, and then aim for the coffee and breakfast. At least, that is the common start up routine for most people. Your mileage may vary. But that is where knowing who you are planning for comes in. The form of the home MUST follow the function of the space.

When the floor plan is first drawn, I actually act out a typical day, tracing with a pencil. It would amaze you how quickly you can pick out inefficiency and wasted steps. This is how they came up with the optimum work triangle for the kitchen. The same thing works well for the bathroom, public spaces or an office.

You've naturally heard that you cannot know somebody until you've walked a mile in his or her shoes. The same is true of design. You can't make something for another person to use until you have followed in their footsteps and know their routine.

Form, function?

2011-02-27T11:02:00.002-05:00

Today's discussion is about my sweater. Okay, yes, that is a little off the wall, but there is a point to it. You'll have to trust me on that one.

Years ago, when I went to University, I asked my mother to knit me a cardigan. I had a very definite feel in mind. Naturally, I wanted something warm. That is the whole point of the sweater. The difficult part was, I wanted something longer and larger than usual. If you've ever seen the length of a standard lab coat, you get the idea. I also wanted something rather "baggy" that had space.

You see, form follows function, as the old saying goes. The function of my black sweater was to be almost like a blanket with sleeves. I can wrap myself in it when I'm cold, or I can let it fall out behind me like a cape. It is not uncommon for one of the cats to curl up on the section that falls on the couch beside me when I don't have it wrapped.

There pockets even conform to my needs. There are two large outer pockets for me to shove my hand into. Inside of them are two smaller pockets. Those fulfill the needs of a regular pocket. I can stuff my cell phone or a pen in there. Two functions for the price of one.

Now to the point. (I bet you were wondering when I'd get there.)

All to often, we decide on somethings value from it's look. It's not until you wear your sweater that you really understand what you need, and how to achieve it. It may look odd on the rack, but when it's on you, it feels natural. Designers these days put so much emphasis on the "rack" look, that we have given up comfort and usefulness for style. If we applied a "form and function" to how we design our clothes, our homes and other articles, we'd all be more comfortable.

The Perfect Car

2011-02-15T20:34:00.003-05:00

I've been putting a lot of thought into vehicles lately. Mostly, I'm just grateful to have access to one that works. Too many of us take reliable transportation for granted. Having been without it a few times in my life, I can't do that.

I think the most important ingredient to the ideal vehicle is to make sure it fits the driver. For example, I have been considering what would be ideal for my niece, whom I have been giving driving lessons. The vehicle should be sized right for the driver. No point putting a girl five foot nothing into a Hummer now, is there? Similarly, it makes no sense for a man over six feet tall to be behind the wheel of a Honda Fit.

Now, for my niece, I think a Civic or a Golf would be ideal. Four doors, for the convenience of carrying friends (of the quiet, responsible type) and stuffing junk. She has a bit of a lead foot, so I don't recommend anything larger than a four cylinder engine. The new ones have more than enough power for anyone.

Myself, I think I'd like to have rather a small truck, say a Ford Ranger or something similar. There is something to be said for a vehicle that only has two seats. No more passengers than you really want. It's either that, or a small, two door hatchback, like a Civic or a Hyundai Accent. I really don't need to carry a lot, and seldom have more than four people on any given trip.

There is still some debate over the whole manual vs. automatic transmission. I favor the automatic myself. My legs just aren't up to switching pedals fast enough for a manual. Besides, with the distractions out on the road, the last thing I want to worry about is rolling back into the car behind me. There isn't THAT much difference when it comes to drivability and fuel economy.

Granted, this is all academic. It will be ages before I have to even consider looking at a car for myself.

On the other hand, I take the same approach to designing things for others.

More on that another time.

Enough already.

2011-02-07T12:59:00.003-05:00

Okay, I'm not usually one to gripe about the weather, but enough already! I had to clear a ton of snow off of the car yesterday. This was after a snow storm only a few days previously. This time, I didn't make it out to the parking lot before they plowed, so I had to clear out the parking space too.

I can just be grateful that I live in Ontario and not out in the Maritimes. They have gotten over two metres (About nine feet!) of snow in the last few weeks. I've seen pictures of people having to clear off their roofs, and they didn't need ladders to reach them. Now that is snow! I guess that's the silver lining in those dark clouds hanging over us today. Somebody always has it worse.

On the plus side, the water level in the river might be up to something approaching normal. It has been low for several years, when we have had a green Christmas and the last snowfall was in early January.

I think it must be a universal right to complain about the weather. Maybe I should have become a farmer to have a legitimate reason to complain.

Super Bowl

2011-02-05T18:28:00.003-05:00

I'm still trying to wrap my head around the popularity of the Super Bowl. I suppose it's just that I'm not a jock, or sports fan in general. I don't get all excited about March Madness or the NHL playoffs either. There just seems to be so much hoopla made over the event being played out tomorrow.

This isn't just an American phenomenon either. The grocery stores up here in Canada have been laying in the party supplies as well, trying to grab their share of the cash cow. At the end of it all, that cow must look like ground chuck. Chips, cola, beer, you name it, it's on sale. There has been a rush on large screen televisions, and from what I hear, subscriptions to satellite services are up, at least for the month.

Don't even get me started on pay-per-view.

There have been very few televised events that I just HAD to see. To be honest, our set is on mostly for the sake of the background noise. Stupidly, I guess, most of my time is spent on-line, doing nothing that matters.

Perhaps, that is the saddest thing about it all. We spend so much of our time doing things that are isolating us (Ironically using what is called "social media".) that when something, anything "big" comes along, we have to make as big a production out of it as possible.

Is it time I found that something big that works for me? I'll let you know. In the meantime, I guess you will still be able to follow my ramblings.

When institutions fade.

2011-01-30T16:27:00.003-05:00

My wife and I went to the annual meeting at the church today. As I am not a member of the church (being nominally a Catholic and the church being Lutheran) I could not really participate. The biggest issue was that of the diminishing congregation. On any given Sunday, there are only 15 to 20 members in the congregation. This has resulted in the parish not being able to sustain the church, either physically or financially.

A motion was put forward to consider discussions about merging with the other church in the parish, with the possibility of closing the smaller one.

This issue has been coming up for years now, and many in the congregation have felt that a merger and closing were all but inevitable. Emotions have been running very high over the issue, with many desiring to keep their church at all cost, letting it go eventually when the Synod says that it has to close. Meanwhile, the council has been dealing with the issue for quite some time. Many have been sitting for much longer than they are constitutionally mandated to. There just hasn't been anyone to replace them.

It is sad to see a beloved local institution fade away. Memories are tied to them. Weather it be baptisms or weddings at a church, or family meals at a favorite restaurant, these things are deep at our cores. When we see them start to vanish, is it any wonder that we react strongly? Many a voice was cracking with tears during this meeting. As well, tempers were flaring, and patience wearing thin on both sides.

It is going to be very difficult for the next couple of years as both sides of this problem come to grips with what is happening.

Fire and freezing temperatures don't mix.

2011-01-26T22:06:00.002-05:00

There was a major fire in the area the other day. A small general store burned right down to the ground. It was in a remote community, something of a landmark.

By some strange coincidence, this fire occurred on what has to have been the coldest day of the year. This presented problems for the responders. After all, you fight fires with water. Water, when introduced to temperatures of -30 degrees Celsius, has this strange tendency to become a solid.

The fire fighters had to deal with everything from gloves and equipment frozen stiff and essentially useless, to extreme fatigue and possible frostbite.

I suppose this is something that these men and women are trained to expect and to deal with, but it still has to take a toll. I know from experience that frozen clothing gets very heavy. Add the weight of helmets, masks and breathing apparatus and the whole thing gets a little staggering. The average person would never be able to manage it.

It's just a shame to see a small business go like that. There is history in a place like that. The worst of it is that it was pretty much doomed from the first hint of smoke. It was far enough from the fire hall that it was going pretty good by the time anyone got there. The freezing cold temperatures just kind of put the final nail in the coffin.

Driving lessons.

2011-01-25T12:40:00.002-05:00

I've been working at giving my niece driving lessons. She is taking some through a professional company, but they don't provide nearly enough wheel time. Her mom's boyfriend says he doesn't have the patience. (I give him all the credit in the world for being able to admit that.) My mom says that she is too nervous. That kind of leaves it to me or my dad, and Dad doesn't get out very much, by choice.

It's a little harder teaching to drive in the winter. Conditions change without warning. It's been interesting watching her adapt to compressed snow, slush and the occasional patch of ice. She has improved immensely. Her steering is much more confident, her braking smoother.

The hard part is reversing and parallel parking. Now, I'm not the best parallel parker in the world, but I really think she needs to practice at it. I've had to get creative in thinking of ways to help her out.

Fortunately, there is an empty parking lot handy here in town. The attractions is seasonal, but they keep the lot clear. I am using a curb to help my niece practice reversing to the right. She's not bad at reversing to the left. This same curb has given me an idea to help with parallel parking. What I'll do is get a plastic lawn chair to use as a pylon. I'll give her lots of space to start out with and slowly reduce the space.

It is interesting teaching somebody to drive. I'd rather have left it in the hands of professionals, but I guess this is the reality of learning to drive these days.

Pizza

2011-01-23T11:19:00.002-05:00

You read that right, I want to discuss pizza.

Ever notice that everyone seems to know of "the" pizza place? It's that one place, the only place, for miles around that serves a decent pizza. I'm not sure just how that works, but I think it's one of the laws of human nature that we seek out "the place" at some point. Once we find it, there is no swaying us. With the exception of new ownership and a changed recipe.

My wife and I went out for supper last night. It had been ages since we'd had a pie from "the only place" for miles.

I used to work for the couple that owns the restaurant. When they took over, they made some changes. Most important was to change the way certain things were made. Gerry worked forever on the pizza sauce. One recipe was too spicy, another too bland. It had to have just the right consistency. It was several months in the development process. Advice was asked and a considerable amount of small scale trial and error done.

I think the key to deciding that somebody makes the best pizza is knowing that somebody has taken the time to care about the product. You just don't get that from one of those large franchise places.

Which leads to another rule of "the place". It seems to almost always be a smaller "mom and pop" outfit, a little restaurant from the neighborhood. There has to be a certain exclusivity, a uniqueness to the establishment. They may do other things, but you always know the pizza is going to be the best.

Back, sort of...

2011-01-19T01:27:00.004-05:00

It's been ages since I've posted anything to my blog. Fortunately for me, the service doesn't delete accounts based on what your activity level is.

My life has just been kind of up in the air for a while. My relationships aren't exactly running smoothly, and, to be quite honest, I don't know where I am going with my life. Sure, that sounds like most of us, but it always seems more extreme when it's your own life you're talking about.

I don't really want to get into details in a public forum though. That sort of thing has brought nothing but trouble. In fact, it was a major catalyst in some events in my life. Things were said, and feelings were hurt.

The worst of it is that, a lot of the hurt can't seem to be left in the past. It keeps coming back to make the present so much harder. It's like, get it out in the open, and get over it. Either solve the problem or leave it in the past. I've never been good at dealing with history. I can recite it, but don't ask me to try and resolve it.

Conflict. That's my biggest problem. I have never been comfortable dealing with conflict. I go out of my way to avoid causing it myself, and do my best to avoid getting caught up in other peoples' disputes. The problem lies when people close to you are the ones that are having problems. Worse is when they are having problems that you just can't begin to understand.

Well, I guess I'll just have to worry about sorting things out in my own head, and just be supportive of everyone else without letting their issues become mine.

Update

2009-12-04T19:19:00.002-05:00

I had occasion to see my family doctor today. She has not seen a report from the neurologist yet, but she was taken aback when we told her his assessment. Her jaw almost hit the floor. She waved it off simply and said that we would just ignore him and look for answers on our own. While she tried to minimize her reaction, I could see that she was rather surprised and disappointed in her colleague.

When Sandra was telling her about our visit to Kemptville, she took her blood pressure. The machine malfunctioned half of the time, but her pressure was obviously elevated.

On our way home, we stopped in and visited my parents. My mother had been out, but came back while we were still there. I told her about this doctor and his conclusion. I thought she was going to go out and look for the guy! I have seldom seen her so angry at a professional. She was upset enough with my previous general practitioner when she thought that it was her who fumbled the ball on catching my problem.

Anyway, I have been assured by everyone that my condition is definitely not in my head.

All in my mind?

2009-12-03T00:08:00.002-05:00

It's been ages since I last posted anything to this blog. I don't know if anyone even checks it anymore. At the moment, I have to get something off of my mind, or I'm going to go insane. I think that's the ultimate purpose of blogging. A kind of release valve.

Anyhow, I have been dealing with a problem since November of 2001. My legs suddenly started getting weaker and weaker.

I went to my family doctor, who sent me to a variety of specialists. None were ever able to come up with a diagnosis. EMGs, blood work, poking and prodding and a biopsy, all for nothing. In the end, my doctor came to the conclusion that I must have what was an unspecified variety of Muscular Dystrophy. She had insisted from the day that I went to her that I needed to get on a disability pension until I could think of something else to do for a living. I certainly couldn't deliver pizzas anymore.

For the first two year, without any real diagnosis, I kept asking myself if maybe it was all in my head. Was I maybe just out of shape and being a wimp about it? Two years, I felt guilty about not holding down a job. Two years, I felt that I wasn't worth anything.

Finally, I started listening to my doctor, and accepting that there was something wrong with me, that we just couldn't put a name to it.

I had to switch family doctors a while back. In that time, I experienced an extreme tired spell. I was having to use a walker, rather than just a cane. She was alarmed when she examined me, and arranged for yet another EMG, some more blood work and an appointment with a neurologist.

I saw that neurologist today. He asked me to describe my problem as best I was able. Then he asked me if I was working. I replied in the negative, and that I was on a disability pension. The doctor then proceeded to examine me, in the conventional manner.

What he said has me back to square one. He asked if I had seen a psychiatric specialist. All of the tests he and his colleagues had done were negative, and his observations were, well contradictory. Essentially, he told me it must all be in my head.

Six years of accepting that something is actually wrong with me is now in question. Am I just a wimp, not working hard enough? Am I subconsciously just making a mountain out of a mole hill?

I have spoken with my wife, and my niece. They think that the doctor is either stupid or just plain insane, that it isn't in my nature to fake something like this, even to myself. My wife even pointed out to me that I had taken a job I had no business doing, because I needed to be doing something. Are they right, or just seeing something in me that isn't really there?

At this point, I'm ready to give up. So what if I don't know what is wrong with me? I will find something I can do to be useful. Time enough to worry about what is making my legs weak when they no longer work at all.

It's just that, now the seed is sown. There is a doubt at the back of my mind, and it's nibbling at the front.

Dangers of choosing one's own name.

2009-05-15T12:08:00.003-04:00

On a lot of Internet sites, you choose the name that you will go by. As a rule, you use a favored nickname, or something random.

On a particular site, I chose to use the name Thomas Linquist. It was the name of a fictitious captain I had planned to use in a story. It's simple, believable and unoffensive. Or so I thought. I just googled my pen name, just for the fun of it, in images mode.

It turns out that I have chosen as my nom de plume the name of a convicted sex offender!

This is rather disturbing, as the site that I use this name in is a forum that is frequented by young girls, this man's preferred target. What happens if one of the parents of these young ladies does the same research that I just did? Any responsible parent would. If they don't check a little deeper, they might assume that this creep is me!

Maybe I should have gone a little more random.

Priorities and Boundaries

2009-02-20T11:34:00.003-05:00

Recently, I have had to spell out on paper what hours tenants in the building I live in as Superintendent can contact me. It was getting to the point that I never knew who would be at my door, and what for. Most of the time, it is for something that is not even in my job description to handle.

Sometimes, we all have to sit down and think about what is most important to us, and set boundaries as to how much one item on the list can impinge on another. Our lives have become so full, with work, scheduled activities and other commitments, that we forget to take stock of just what really means anything to us.

We've started at a much younger age too. There are children as young as six who live their lives by a calendar posted on the kitchen wall. Hockey, soccer, piano... the list is endless. By the time these kids reach their mid teens, they are already burnt out. Is it really any wonder that so many turn to lives of drugs and/or addiction to video games? When do we start to rethink just how involved we really need to be?

Only a generation ago, families had a lot more time together. Even if both parents had to be working to make ends meet, it seems like there was more time spent talking, rather than each person in his/her room on a computer or in front of a television screen. Most homes only had one or two of either to begin with.

Maybe it's time we all stepped back, one or two days out of the week. Leave the work on the desk for a few hours. Don't plan, just do. It doesn't even have to be anything big and exciting. Maybe just a favorite meal, sitting around the table and finding out what everyone has been up to over the week.

That used to be what Sunday suppers were for. The family sat together and summed up their lives for the week, and looked ahead to what needed to be done in the week ahead, and what could be put off.

I have not even reached middle age, and sometimes I long for something as simple as sitting at a table with the people that mean something to me and just finding out where they have been and where they are going. Norman Rockwell, eat your heart out.

V Day Invasion

2009-02-13T11:55:00.003-05:00

Ladies, gentlemen and others, (You know who you are!) the day is nigh! The day when those of us who don't think to prepare make that mad dash and scramble for the perfect piece of paper. No, I'm not referring to taxes. (Though you might want to make a note of those too.) I'm talking about Valentines Day, and the card that expresses just how you feel about your significant other.

Last year, I was well prepared, and purchased a lovely card before the groundhog even poked his nose out of his burrow. This time, I've left it down to the wire. Now I have to go into the stores, find out what remains of the stock, and try to find something that can even come close to matching how much I love my wife.

A television character once said, "You can't spell inspiration without procrastination. Well, at least the 'ation' part." If necessity is the mother of invention, I think that procrastination is the mother of desperation. Let's face it, when you keep saying "tomorrow", one of these days it's going to turn out to be yesterday.

On the other hand, my wife and I have opted not to do gifts this year, in favor of a short vacation at the end of the month. This doesn't get me off the hook for the card, but at least I'm not wandering around the mall, like so many of us males, looking for something that says "romantic". Just wait until tomorrow morning. The sheep will inundate the stores with varying degrees of panic on their faces. It's the invasion of the last minute shoppers. Happens every holiday, like clockwork.

If you will excuse me, I have to get out and find a card.

All I can say is, WOW!

2009-01-28T16:18:00.002-05:00

As some of you may know, I have an account at www.fanfiction.net. I write short stories there under the pen name of Thomas Linquist.

I was introduced to the site by my niece. She had left it up on my computer, just over a year ago. Being the curious person that I am, I just had to check it out. Glancing through the stories led me to create an account last year. From there, I have made friends, told jokes that were better left untold, and been bitten by what we fan fiction writers call plot bunnies.

At about the same time that I began with the site, I was also fascinated by a Disney cartoon. Naturally, there was a section of fan fiction devoted to the stories of Kim Possible and her best friend Ron Stoppable. Before you mention it, yes, I am rather old to be so interested by a television show marketed to the "tweens" generation. Naturally, that doesn't stop me.

For the past year, I have been part of what we call the "Kimmunity". That is a group of writers on the site that have dedicated themselves to this particular niche. I have written stories for and, in one case, about these new friends.

Each year, one of the established writers hosts an online contest, where authors vote for one another in a number of categories. This little tribute is affectionately referred to as the "Fannies".

I am honored this year to have been nominated six times in four categories. For a first time writer, this is just mind boggling. I had hoped for a single nomination. While I do not expect to make the second round, it is thrilling to know that so many people have taken an interest in anything I've done.

This post probably falls under the category of tooting my own horn, but I'm just so excited, I thought I would share.

When fear is left behind.

2009-01-15T22:12:00.003-05:00

It's an odd thing, but for some time now, I have just not been easily intimidated.

What brings this up is a matter that I can't go into for legal and ethical reasons, but suffice it to say, somebody tried to get all up in my face, and it didn't work. I just stood there, staring at the guy in disbelief at how foolish he looked.

At an earlier time in my life, any kind of confrontation would send me cowering into my self, turning and looking for cover. I even avoided the arguments of others, because the feeling of anger bothered me. Some people liked to bully me, just to see my reaction. Somewhere along the line, I lost that.

Which isn't to say that I've gotten brave. Heck, confrontation is still a last resort for me. Diplomacy and logical negotiation are still my preferred means of resolution. All I'm saying is that another person ranting and raving is more a source of bemusement for me than something to be feared.

Last summer, a very large man confronted me at my apartment door. He glared down at me and ranted and raved. He was hoping to get me to be afraid and say something stupid. Instead, I was just staring up at him, watching the veins in his neck, wondering if they would pop.

That's another thing. Size doesn't matter anymore. So a guy stands over six feet tall, and I'm only five foot three. All it means is that I'm staring up at him. Nothing confuses a big man more than a short, chubby (let's call a spade a spade, fat) man staring up at him without fear. It just doesn't make sense to them. It goes against all of their experience. Little guys like me are supposed to be afraid. It's the natural order of things.

Somewhere along the line, my mind gave up on that order. Now, when somebody comes at me with so much anger and irrationality, I go into amusement mode. People say the strangest (and dumbest) things when they are angry. In fact, if you let them go on long enough, they begin to realize just how foolish they look, and they back away. They may be yelling and cursing the whole time, but they are backing down.

Cast out fear. When you stop fearing others, you can see a situation for what it truly is. You might be afraid, but if you control that fear, and get beyond it, solutions present themselves. So does the generally insane nature of the universe we live in. Sometimes you just have to give in and laugh.

Nothing infuriates a bully more.

OC Transpo Strike

2009-01-09T12:32:00.003-05:00

I just want to weigh in here on the current strike by members of the Ottawa Transit workers union. My opinions will not make me popular with many. However, they are mine, and I hold them without real malice for any.

It is my opinion that the union is making life for the people of Ottawa unnecessarily difficult, and in some cases perilous. They have made their point, that they are unhappy with the contract offered by the city. If neither side is able or willing to move, there is no point in continuing in this action. There are alternatives. If the union wanted to get their message out, mission accomplished. Move on.

The sticking point, as I understand it, is the scheduling of drivers. This is very much a safety issue. Quality of life for the drivers is important, but not at the expense of safety on the road. The system of shift scheduling that the union wants would allow drivers to work unsafe numbers of hours without thought for what is best for the riders.

The rest of us have to work hours that are not necessarily convenient for us. We are not allowing truck drivers to work more than 14 hours at a stretch, without an 8 hour rest period. Should people carrying the lives of people not be as responsible as those carrying canned goods?

Most importantly, it's time to move away from the chaos that has been caused by this strike. Lives have been disrupted enough already.

Go to binding arbitration. If neither the city nor the union can be adult enough to compromise in some way, then it's time for somebody to decide what is best for the public that both sides claim to be serving. If the drivers are unhappy during this process, they can still picket, in a safe way, but on their own time. They will be seen and heard.

Students have lost time. They might lose the work of a whole semester. Some university and college students were held at picket lines, with the union members knowing fully that it would cause them to possibly fail entire courses. If I were those students, I would seriously consider a class action suit against the union and the city for the cost of tuition for the semester lost.

The same thought applies to those who lost their jobs, their livelihoods, because one group is so determined to get what it believes is its prerogatives, and another would not compromise, or put forth a new proposal. Daycare, lost wages, lost business and lost security. The tally is mind-boggling.

Like it or not, Transit is an essential service. Get it together people, and get things moving.

Resolutions, but little resolve.

2009-01-03T21:44:00.003-05:00

Okay, so I haven't exactly been keeping up with posting. I do promise to try.

This is why I never make New Years resolutions. I know that within a week, they will be out the window, down the street, and thumbing their way to who knows where. It's been that way since time immemorial with me. I can make all kinds of vows, and mean every word of them. When it comes to will power... Let's just say, I'm a little lacking.

I'm not alone in this either. Studies and surveys show that more than 60 percent of all New Years resolutions are broken within three months. After six months, another 10 percent might go by the wayside.

We all feel the need to improve ourselves in one way or another. Unfortunately, we tend to fall short in just how much we are willing to do to make those changes.

Experts say that the key to keeping resolutions is to have reasonable expectations. No point trying to change something that you physically cannot. Another important thing is to put those promises to yourself in writing somewhere. Preferably where it has to be looked at once a day or more. After that, the usual self-help rules apply. Get support, and don't be afraid to ask for help when things are tough.

Here's hoping I can keep my promise to post here more often. You, obviously, will be the judges.

Yes, I still exist.

2008-12-29T21:15:00.002-05:00

It's been a long time since I last posted anything here. So long, that I don't really know where to begin to post.

With the new year upon us, I thought that maybe it was time to get back to writing something other than fiction or business letters to tenants. You see, that is how I have been spending the greater part of my time these last few months. As you might imagine, I feel a little cut off when I don't have my computer in front of me.

Unfortunately, this particular machine is reaching the end of it's useful life. It's been giving me a lot of error messages regarding virtual memory. Certain applications will shut down my Internet browser without warning.

It's fortunate that we don't become obsolete as quickly as the tools we use. That is the only thing that keeps the machines from taking over the planet. Computers are getting closer and closer to sentience, but until they can think and evolve for themselves, they will become outdated and need humans to repair, maintain and upgrade them.

With luck, I will be able to update this machine, and get another five years from her.

I am still very much the superintendent of the building we live in. My immediate bosses seem to be quite happy with what I have done here. In fact, some of the company brass were here, and thought that I was doing a good job. How they divined this I do not know, since I merely showed them a few units, and explained how I see the place.

Perhaps that is really enough for any employer really. When you take ownership and pride in what you do, it shows. They know that you will do what it takes to make the company happy, because you want what is best for your part of it.

I'm still getting around pretty good, though my tired spells are becoming a little more frequent and lasting a little longer. My appetite is ridiculous, but I'm not exactly putting on the pounds. I eat like crazy, but we do eat healthy for the most part.

Sandra has been well enough. She did have a case of shingles for a few weeks, and it nearly drove her nuts. Having never had them myself, I can only take her word for the pain and itch. I did the best I could to help her, with a cold pack and Aveeno baths. The doctor did more, by recognizing it quickly and prescribing the right anti-viral medication.

Christmas was a bit of a let down this year. Times being tight, it was hard to get the gifts that we wanted. Certain members of the family were in less than the holiday spirit. Put that together with uncomfortable sleeping arrangements, and things weren't what we might have hoped for. We've decide to start doing things a little more simply. We will get what will mean the most as gifts next year, and sleep in our own beds.

At any rate, I do mean to post more frequently now. Forgive me if things still aren't what you call interesting reading.

Economic Woes or Misunderstood Opportunity?

2008-10-21T10:48:00.003-04:00

We have all heard of the disaster that has befallen the world economy. Stocks are going down, houses are being repossessed and jobs are going down the drain. At least, that's the story in most parts of the world.

All of this came about because somebody got greedy. They decided to risk the money that we had put into the bank, funding loans to people with neither the intention, nor the ability, to repay it. Now the United States has had to pony up over 700 Billion, that's billion with a B folks, in tax payers' money to shore up the entire banking system. A number of other governments have had to do the same thing.

Now, if you are one of those people about to lose your home, I do feel for you. You have worked very hard to get what little you have. You make your payments and then have that investment yanked out from under you when the bank goes under. Which is to say, I feel for those of you who borrowed responsibly.

At the same time, I can't help but wish that I had some liquid capital sitting around for the next couple of months. When the market gets this low, I have the instinct to snap up some of what the panicking monkeys on Wall St. and Bay St. are dumping. At the end of this fall, there is going to be demand again, and those stocks will be worth a fortune. Whenever somebody lets the ball drop, there will always be somebody at the other end, waiting to take the advantage.

In point of fact, I still don't know how the banking industry ever should have affected the stock markets so deeply. Okay, housing markets have tanked, and banks and trust companies dumped what they had in an attempt to make up the losses from their stupidity. Where were the visionaries that could see this as an opportunity to buy into something they didn't have? A lot of what was sold is stock in good, solid companies with viable products and services.

Every time the economy takes a downturn like this, I'm tempted to sell a kidney and buy in. Learning from the mistakes makes the global economy that much stronger.

The Election Process

2008-10-09T11:57:00.003-04:00

"A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have."
Thomas Jefferson

With federal elections going on in both Canada and the United States, it seems appropriate to take a moment and think about the way we govern ourselves.

Firstly, that's an interesting concept right there. "Govern ourselves." Do those words really have any meaning anymore? It seems that we have given up that right, to rule our own paths, to others, we even pay them to do it. We delude ourselves into thinking that we have control by saying that we chose them to represent us.

Here in Canada, at least, this just isn't the case by and large. The parties decide who will run in each riding (or electoral district for those who don't speak Canadian) on their behalf. Only members of the party in question are welcome to submit their name for nomination. Every now and then, some maverick will put their name forward as an Independent candidate. On rare occasions, they actually get a seat in the House.

It would be nice if the people we elected were truly our representatives, voting the way the constituents tell them.

In the same train of thought, it is very interesting in how we choose (and I use that word loosely) the actual leaders of our respective countries.

Here in Canada, the leader of the party with the most seats in the House of Commons becomes the Prime Minister. He or she will remain in that post as long as his/her party is in power and feels that he/she should remain as leader of the party. The only limitation is that there must be an election a minimum of every five years. In other words, we the citizens do not actually have a say in who the person is who will represent us to the world.

In the United States, you choose who will represent you as President directly. However, if he or she happens to be of a different party or ideology than the majority of Congress, there is little can be done because of the struggle between the Legislative and Executive branches of the government.

And I still do not understand the whole "electoral college" thing either. From what I see, it's quite possible for the college to override the wishes of the people in choosing who the President is going to be. Forgive me if I am in error. As I stated, the whole concept eludes me.

Which brings us to the major difference in the election process between Canada and the United States. You will never hear about broken ballot computers or hanging chads in Canada. It's simple people. The candidates names are written on a slip of paper with a circle next to it. You put a mark in the circle next to the name of the person you are voting for. Questions about the numbers? Each party has one scrutineer watching as the ballots are recounted, twice. The candidate with the most valid ballots wins.

All the same, sometimes I am still tempted to put in a write in vote for Bullwinkle J. Moose.

Dilemmas

2008-10-05T11:20:00.003-04:00

I'm on the horns of a dilemma, one partially of my own creation.

In the course of writing a story, I became part of a semi-collaboration. I have added other authors to my tale (with their permission), and made it possible for them to help the story evolve. This seemed like a very good idea at the time. After all, we all got into writing fan fiction for the fun of it.

The thing I forgot to take into account is group dynamics. For a man who minored in psychology, that was pretty stupid.

One of the writers has begun to encounter problems with others. I do not have the specifics of the problem, as it occurred in a chat room when I was not present. It has potentially damaged the integrity of the characters of my story, in that if they cannot work together in the real world, asking them to do so in this tale won't work either. The writer involved has left it to me, as the story's author, to decide what to do.

So, do I take him out of the story or leave him in? Do I get involved in any personal squabble these writers have, or stay away from it? Instinct tells me to stay out of the mess myself, and perhaps do some rewriting so that this person stays in, but does not have to necessarily deal with the others when the story planning is done.

It is my story, and so up to me. I just don't want to hurt anybody's feelings.

This is what happens when you start writing around real people instead of just the fictional ones.

Weather or Not?

2008-09-25T11:21:00.002-04:00

Well, the season is beginning to change, as indicated by the amount of fur that our cats are shedding. There have been a couple of frost advisories that have resulted in my covering my tomato plants. The leaves and beech nuts have been falling from the trees. (By the way, beech nuts will do damage to the cranium if they fall on you. Be warned!)

So why is it that I'm sitting here in shorts?

This has been a strange year, weather-wise, even up here in Canada. I won't begin to go into the problems experienced in the lower forty-eight. Summer took its own time getting here, with a lot of rain and then, when it did arrive, it did so with a vengeance. The humidity was enough to flatten you out, and then create short thunder storms. Now we go from highs of 26 C to lows of 1 or 2, sometimes to the freezing point.

I think that's one of the wonderful things about being Canadian. We always have something to gripe about. If you don't like the weather, wait five minutes!

On the other hand, I don't think I could imagine living someplace with a more regular climate. My aunt and uncle have a place in Florida that they escape to each winter. They were even tempted to spend the Christmas Holidays down there. Christmas without snow. So wrong, on so many levels. Besides, I think my favorite time of year is when the maples have all changed color, but the leaves haven't all fallen to the ground. That would be so hard to give up.

So, like every other Canadian, I think I'll go ahead and complain about the weather, and just keep a pair of shorts handy.

Babysitting?

2008-09-19T10:28:00.003-04:00

I know I promised not to do this here, but I just have to vent a little.

When did I become a babysitter?

There was a problem yesterday evening with some of the tenants. Apparently, they felt that one of the boys who lives in the building was being far too rough with the others. I received a phone call, complaining about something that happened the day before yesterday. While I am responsible for the safety of the children as they play in the yard, I have to be notified of things when they happen before I can take action.

Furthermore, without the proper complaints filed, the most I could do was talk to the boy's mother, and ask her to have a serious chat with him. As the assistant superintendent, I really don't see how it is up to me to handle how the children are behaving. Even as I was talking with both sets of parents, all of the children involved were outside playing together.

I really do want to keep peace among the tenants of the building. I'm just not sure how to do this when somebody gets their feelings hurt, and feels the need to say "he started it" to me. Then there is dealing with the kids.

Okay, that last paragraph was a little harsh.

When do I start treating "boys will be boys" as a tenant incident with the possible consequence of eviction?

The LHC

2008-09-16T11:31:00.002-04:00

By now I'm sure that just about everyone has heard about the LHC, or Large Hadron Collector. The particle accelerator was brought on-line a week ago. It is the most awesome observation machine ever constructed by man. More than seven kilometers of tunnel under Switzerland and France. All to detect a particle that scientists aren't positive exists, and is so small, a scanning electron microscope cannot see it.

I was intrigued by the number of doomsday scenarios that surrounded this thing. The directors of CERN, who are operating the LHC have even been threatened. According to some, it was going to create a black hole, and the earth would be devoured by it. Others had the idea that the collisions would result in a fusion reaction, that would cascade, and essentially be a huge nuclear bomb.

In fact, there have been a number of particle accelerators. The only difference with the LHC is that it's so much larger, and the detectors much more sensitive. There is an infinitesimally small possibility of creating a reaction harmful to anyone. The possibility is so remote, it doesn't even bear considering. We are talking extremely tiny reactions that the Universe produces itself by chance.

The goal here is to detect the Higgs particle, or what was created at the moment of the big bang. If the current model is correct, then there is an elemental particle of our universe unaccounted for. As well, physics has yet to explain why there is no antimatter anywhere to be found in the known universe. If it annihilates when it comes into contact with matter, should there not be an equal amount of each, matter and antimatter in the universe?

Science is attempting to explain how you go from nothing, to a whole expanding universe. We are reaching out to God, in essence, and asking, how and why are we here.

I won't even begin to comment on the debates that question brings up.

Home Sweet Home

2008-08-31T11:10:00.003-04:00

Sandra and I have been in the apartment for just a couple days over a year now. And quite the year it has been. It's had all of it usual ups and downs.

When we moved in, we had some issues with the upstairs neighbors. They had two large dogs that made a lot of noise first thing every morning, as the sun started to come up. The couple tried caging them at night, but that just led to the noise of rattling cages and whimpering. After a time, they had to move out, it not being fair to the dogs to keep them in an apartment like that.

There were issues with some of the other tenants as well. A couple of them were dealing and using drugs out of their units. That is, they were until I started sitting at my computer at the kitchen table! The "clients" weren't willing to be seen at the door. It did take a tribunal hearing to get rid of the worst of the trouble makers, and the others had to be given two month notice of lease termination.

On the other hand, Christmas was lovely here. Our tree looked lovely in front of the living room window. With the tree lights on, we didn't even need the living room lights at night. From outside, you could see the lights. We had our large plastic ornaments outside our windows, and they were great too, even if we weren't able to light them up.

Speaking of winter, this apartment is a dream in winter. The air is a little on the dry side, (Can you say "Sahara"?) but it is warm and comfortable in here. The windows seal very well, and the walls are so well insulated that the worst winds couldn't even be heard. We had to open the blinds to know what was happening outside.

It had been a little difficult getting used to the trains being so close at first. Now, we hardly notice them. The cats ignored them from day one.

The spring brought with it a lot of melt and rain. Even in a basement apartment, there was no real dampness problems. This has been a boon to Sandra, who has had arthritis issues for as long as I've known her. As far as comfort goes, this place has it all.

Now in June, our superintendent took it into his head to quit. Not having all of the story myself, I can't really go into too much detail. All I know is that suddenly we were left to fend for ourselves. I took it upon myself to go around each evening and make sure the the building remained secure. It had taken so long to get it to feel like home.

Starting in July, I was hired to be the assistant superintendent on site. All I really have to do is continue to watch over the property, report problems, and handle any paperwork that comes out of the building. Tenants bring issues to me, and I pass them along to my immediate boss.

At least, that's the way it's supposed to work. I have a tendency to try to handle maintenance issues myself. With a swift kick in the butt by my wife, I've started to let these things go. It's up to the professionals to do them. I still do some of the really simple stuff, but no more trying to get up ladders and things like that. It's still nice to have tools to do the easy stuff. I like to put in the homey touches, that take the place from an apartment building to what the tenants can proudly call home.

Sandra has been doing her best to get our home organized. She purchased new shelving units for the storage room, and know there is space in there, with everything neatly up off of the floor. I can go in there to change the Kitty litter without having to back out to change my mind.

So now we find ourselves having been in the building for a full year. Things haven't always gone smoothly, but this apartment has eventually become home.

Sandra cried when we left Cardinal for the last time. May it be a long time before she has to shed tears like those again.

My take on the Olympics.

2008-08-21T10:55:00.004-04:00

Like everyone else, I've been following the Olympics to some degree. There are events that I really enjoy, and others that you couldn't pay me to watch. For example, the beach volleyball had my interest, whereas the baseball and basketball were to be flipped over if at all possible. That might mark me as less of a regular guy than most, but it's how I'm wired.

My wife and I are very fond of the diving events. Watching these young men and women hurl themselves off of a springboard or the 10 metre platform is very exciting. We don't even pick which athletes to be interested in (beyond normal desire to see our country get a medal), we just admire the form that they show.

Interestingly enough, after a while, you begin to understand just what the judges are looking for. Were the toes pointed on entry? How vertical was that entry? At first I wasn't sure why some divers were scored the way they were. Now I get it. It was the same way during the winter Olympics, with curling. It took me time to get that one too.

There was an interesting debate in a forum I frequent about what constitutes a sport, and what is just an athletic equivalent to a beauty contest. It seems that some feel that an event that is judged subjectively is not really a sport. Only the events with clear "first past the post" winners can be considered a sport. I haven't really come down on one side or the other. I think that all of the events are sports. If it requires physical training to the nth level, and is not something just anyone can do well, it's a sport.

The day they introduce competitive eating, I'm out of here. Now that is NOT a sport!

An interesting side note, the CBC sports program asked for viewer input on who was the most gifted athlete at the games, or something to that effect. Somebody very wisely voted for one of the horses on the Canadian Equestrian team. We get so caught up in the human element, sometimes we forget what we ask of our partners.

Casts for the summer.

2008-08-14T09:55:00.003-04:00

Mom broke her foot in three places a while back. She's been in a cast for over a month, and is not to put any weight on the limb at all. This has left her confined to one level of her home, one small room and the bathroom. To say that she is bored out of her mind would be like saying the moon is a little distance away.

I think, if it were winter, it wouldn't be quite so bad, since she would be trapped indoors anyway. In summer, with her flower beds going wild and things to be done, it has to be maddening. When Sandra and I have gone out, she has seemed okay, but being stuck like that is worse than any kind of prison sentence. A person can appeal a court decision. There is no recourse against an x-ray.

On the positive side of things, though, she won't need to have surgery done. There were some fears that she would need to have a pin put into her ankle. Fortunately, the x-rays taken last week show the bones mending properly. They put a new, smaller cast on her leg and told her to stay off of it for another month. If all goes well, they will then put her into a walking cast, and she won't have to worry about anything breaking if she bumps that foot.

Still, I am a little concerned about the stress of the whole thing. People just aren't built to be in tiny spaces for so long. Why else would it be the standard punishment for criminals? It cannot be good for her mental health.

Mom will be coming to visit here next week. Sandra and I will go out with the car and pick her up. It's my birthday, and I want her to come and spend some time with us. If the weather is good, we will be having a barbecue and cake outdoors, or sandwiches and treats in the apartment if it rains.

The leg will heal. I just hate the time that it is taking away from Mom.

Time allotment.

2008-08-10T11:22:00.003-04:00

I have been spending a lot of time on the computer lately, not doing anything of real importance, but I'm almost always sitting at the darned thing. I'm thinking that it might be time to get out of this chair once in a while and let the modem cool down. Real life is out there waiting for me.

There are things I do on the computer that I really don't want to give up, like chatting with friends that I really can't talk with any other way, and writing my little fan fiction stories. Those are some of the reasons I have the computer, really. Next to paying bills and the volunteer stuff I do for the church.

Maybe I should just shut down a little earlier each night, and settle in with a coffee and my books. I haven't taken nearly enough time to read. And if Sandra is up and not online, we could spend some more quality time together. She does her things in the evening, so the late morning and early afternoon should be our time.

Now that I do have some limited responsibilities around the building, time is getting to be a more valuable commodity. Time to rethink how I use it.

Our new transportation.

2008-08-04T11:51:00.003-04:00

It's been a pretty busy week.

Sandra and I have been in the process of getting a loan to buy a used car. It has been a roller coaster ride of emotions for her. We had hoped to get a line of credit at first, but were declined. The guy at the bank then ran the numbers for a loan. Well, he was pretty rude and short when dealing with Sandra that day, and that just had her in tears.

The long and the short of it is that we wound up trying at another bank, with no luck, so we went back and took the loan offered at our own. It was a little more each month than we wanted to pay, but still within our means. When we went in the second and third times (We had to go back to pick up the cheque for the dealership.) he was much nicer to Sandra.

From test drive to plating the car was a week, almost exactly. I don't think I've ever made a decision of that magnitude quite so quickly, but we really did need a newer car. The cavalier was thirteen years old, and things were starting to get expensive to keep her running. After she broke down on us in Kingston, Sandra never felt comfortable driving again.

My Dad really wants the old car. He does not care for the van that my mother has, and my brother has it half of the time. If the car can be made to pass the safety, he feels it will be perfect for the driving that he does. Dad seldom leaves the property, and never goes long distance. Or at least, he very rarely travels long distance.

Sandra is thrilled with our new car. We bought a 2002 Pontiac Sunfire GTX. It is a little more loaded than we really need, but the price was good and the mileage even better. It only had 66 thousand kilometres on the odometer. It rides well, and most importantly, has no rust. Sandra can drive in comfort and confidence again.

Stupid things I do.

2008-07-30T11:21:00.003-04:00

As many of you know, I have muscular dystrophy, and therefore have a problem with stairs and heavy lifting. Well, the last two days, I did something very foolish. I got up on a ladder and painted a ceiling.

There had been a leak in the apartment above, and that resulted in a stain on the ceiling in question. Rather than hand the company the expense of repairing the damage, I figured that I could just step up and paint over it. Big mistake.

By the time I was finished yesterday, I was aching all over from the strain of getting up the ladder and reaching to do the painting. I have a bruise on my right shin from where I banged it against the ladder at some point, and I have multiple strains.

I don't know where I would be without my wife. She massaged my aches, right through all of my whining and complaining. She even got out the muscle lotion to try and ease my right thigh and back muscles. She is a woman of great patience when I do stupid things like this to myself. Anyone else would have told me to stop bellyaching and just deal with the consequences.

Needless to say, any other such work is going to have to be done by professionals.

What my father taught me.

2008-07-29T16:56:00.004-04:00

I didn't realize it at the time, but my father taught me a lot of the things that I was ever going to need in life. He didn't sit me down and lecture me about them, he just always did things a certain way. Leadership by example is what they call it today.

One of the first rules he taught me was that if you give your word, you bloody well keep it. My father is one of the most trustworthy people I have ever had the good fortune to know. When he told somebody that he would be someplace, he was there, even if he had to walk. If Dad said that he would pay somebody for something, it was paid, on time, and gladly. I suspect he is one of the few people who still believe that a promise made on a handshake is just as binding as anything on paper.

Another or my father's rules for life is that you always treat any female, regardless of age or social station as a lady. This wasn't really explained in any way. It just got ingrained in me that you were always polite to a lady, until she proved herself otherwise. Doors are to be held open, jackets are to be helped on with, things like that. Now, a lot of that training came from my mother, but Dad always backed it up.

The rule that he most definitely taught me was that a man always takes care of the tools he works with each day. He has always been very careful about cleaning out paint brushes and making sure his saw did not get rusty. He makes tools last far longer than your average guy. It shows respect for the tools that allow you to make a living. Many is the time I've taken extra care with something that I use, be it kitchen equipment or a paint brush, and gotten odd looks from coworkers. I just hate to see a tool misused or carelessly thrown about.

My father taught me about commitment, honesty and respect.

Why don't these things take until we grow up a bit?

Joe upgraded?

2008-07-25T10:32:00.003-04:00

I had been thinking about upgrades to the computer that I use everyday. After all, it is five years old now, and was likely obsolete the moment it came out of the box. Technology moves so quickly these days. Naturally, these are the changes I would make if I had all kinds of money, so it is more of a wish list than anything else.

A web cam of decent quality would be nice. That way people who I chat with could actually see me if they so chose. And if I had bothered to get decent that day. Instant messaging is something I use fairly often, so this is a device that would get a lot of use. In that same vein, I would like to have an even better quality microphone, one that is voice activated and that I don't have to have stuck to the side of my face. Maybe as part of the web cam?

Another good feature to have would be voice print. I would like to be able to dictate a letter or commands, and not have to type so much. My fingers don't always do exactly what I tell them to these days. Besides which, it might be nice to try a hands-free approach to computing.

The drawback is that everyone else's computer would have to be capable of receiving all of this media. I have tried using my microphone to at least get voice communication, but it seems like nobody is set up for it. None of the people I chat with anyway.

Maybe an upgrade isn't so important after all. Just slow down my typing and keep this system running at best performance.

When it's not fun anymore

2008-07-22T22:21:00.002-04:00

My wife is part of an on-line bingo and other game league. She hosts two tournaments each night. This is strictly for fun, and a volunteer thing. She doesn't get anything out of hosting other than chatting with her friends.

Tonight, one of the head administrators got all upset with her because a member who had not registered in time was not able to play in her second tournament. This upset Sandra very much. She tries so hard to keep the members happy, and it isn't easy getting players for the second tournament slot, so when there are enough, she closes and begins on schedule.

I don't think it was fair to yell at her because somebody couldn't register in time.

When something like this becomes more like a job than a hobby, when do you just say "to hell with it" and let it go? She really enjoys the league, and so many of the people she has encountered through it. It would be a shame to have her drop her hobby because somebody was upset one night.

I think we need to sit back and remember why we joined this league to begin with. If it isn't fun, what is the point?

Upon entering a residence.

2008-07-19T11:43:00.004-04:00

Nothing quite so philosophical today.

I want to talk about housekeeping.

It's odd, but you can tell an awful lot about a person from the way that they keep their home. I say this with authority, because I have had occasion to be in a number of apartments in the last two weeks. The difference between a residence and home can be felt within three feet of the door. It isn't always the obvious things either that will give away how much a person cares about where they live.

One place I was in recently was done up with homey touches. A mirror here, a prized possession there. Little pieces of the tenant's history were in the entry. It was like being welcomed into her life a bit to walk through the door. Another had just a clean hallway, with things set neatly to one side. Still, it said to me that she liked to be organized, and that if you were willing to abide by her rules, you would be welcome. A third place had things haphazardly thrown about, with some attempt at keeping order, but not much success. That was a home with somebody who just tries to keep up with things as they happen.

Guys as a rule go one of two ways. Either the place is a pigsty, because that is the way they live their lives at home, or they keep things regimented and orderly. Few men go to the trouble of arranging things for show, in my experience. Once in a while you will see something like a family picture or a favorite piece of art, but most guys can't be put to the bother. Either it's too much effort, or it would be seen as a useless waste of wall space.

Myself, I'd like to decorate with a combination of functionality and family warmth. I want people to know that they are entering a home, not just a place that I happen to live. At the same time, I want it to be obvious where things belong.

My wife is a wonder at making these touches just right. I think, with her choices, she creates a feel in the foyer of our unit that says, "This is us."

There is a saying about first impressions. It applies to feelings as well as tangibles. Our homes can either feel like one, or not. It all depends on who we are and how we live.

Time travels

2008-07-16T10:38:00.003-04:00

Ever ask yourself, "Where did the time go?" You may have noted more than once that I've used that phrase, or something to that effect in this blog. Time seems to slip away in a blur, now and then, okay, frequently. If you aren't paying attention, whole days and weeks can go by, and you missed something.

From a strictly quantum physics point of view, I think time goes outward, towards the direction of galactic expansion. If one could point to a place and say, "The universe began here," then we could as easily say that time began then, and has moved outward along with the stars and galaxies. Given the speed at which the universe is calculated to be expanding, time really does fly, fast.

Let's think for a moment about how we define time. The world we live in has three basic dimensions; length, width and depth. Once you have those, you can have motion through them. From that motion, we take the fourth dimension, time. Otherwise known as how long it take to move from one point of the spacial dimensions to another. Now, given the four dimensions that we have just defined, there are many more possible, but let's try to keep it simple.

This also explains how time can be relative, depending on who is doing the measuring. It takes a person with smaller strides much longer to get to one point than it takes a person with a longer stride to cover the same distance. What to you or me feels like a mere minute, could, to a mouse feel like an hour.

Then again, we have decided, in our human way, to standardize time, based on the units of the year, month, week and day. Beyond that, we are obsessed with breaking it down still more.

I think the trick to a more peaceful life, is to get away from defining time beyond the day level. Sure, we have to know the hour of certain events in our lives, but defining ourselves by where we spend our time is a mistake, I believe. The day will go on whether you stop to watch the sunset or not. It will go on even if you take time to write that letter to your grandmother, or decide that the carpet has to be vacuumed now.

Time travels outward, away from us. Maybe, if we paid more attention to it, we could get the most out of it.

Feeling useful.

2008-07-14T11:46:00.002-04:00

Never underestimate the value of feeling useful in one's life. Sometimes, it makes all of the difference in the world.

The worst thing about having been diagnosed with a disability, was being told by my doctor that I should immediately apply for a disability pension. To my way of thinking, this was next door to a death sentence. I've always defined myself by my ability to do for others. If I were sitting around on a pension, I might as well be a helpless child again.

While I do not have the experience or training for office work, or some other sedentary employment, I prefer to be doing something to earn my keep. In an agricultural and industrial region like south east Ontario, there isn't a whole lot of work to go around. Not without the right skills.

I've had to make peace with the fact that I cannot do a lot of the things that I used to. I cannot help others in the manner that I was accustomed to. No amount of moping or complaining can change my physiology.

Recently, I've been hired as an assistant superintendent for the building that I live in. The work is never supposed to be so heavy that I cannot do it. Mostly, it's just being a presence in the building on behalf of the landlord, so that tenants have somebody to talk to when there is a problem. Most of the job is handling the request paperwork.

In this first month, I've done a few other things. I've unclogged sinks and toilets. I've supervised the changing of locks. I have handled problems with refrigerators. (I didn't do the work myself, but I made sure that things got moved and fixed.) Little things like towel bars and the like I can handle.

I haven't felt so useful in several years. The only ones who had any real use for me were my wife and family. It is good to know that I still have something to contribute.

When my late father-in-law retired from work with the Provincial Park Service, he didn't have a plan of what he was going to do with his time. As a result, he didn't get exercise and his diet was a nutritionist's nightmare. It wasn't too long after that when he had a heart attack. The second attack is what killed him.

I don't care how you make yourself useful and active. Volunteer with an organization. Help out a neighbour with a project. For that matter, get a hobby that you enjoy. Just be active and do something that makes you feel useful. I think you will live better for it.

The New World Order

2008-07-13T10:57:00.003-04:00

I was reading a story the other day, and there were some references to the Holocaust and the clan. It is hard to believe, in this day and age, that there are still pockets of Nazis and other racist, fascist groups out there. Did a pile of people somehow miss the fact that we are well into the first decade of the 21st century?

It's a little hard for me to come to terms with the entire concept of "the master race". While I was growing up, it was always pointed out to me that there was only one race, the human one. We lived in a small town, so ethnic diversity was a little hard to come by, and prejudice was more on a socio-economic level. When I first started learning about segregation and the genocides of the past, it all just made me so sick.

I do agree, sometimes, that there needs to be a new world order. However, it cannot be based on exclusivity. The only way a civilization can survive is to take the best of its parts, and incorporate them into the whole. Where as Hitler and the Apartheid government of South Africa sought to eliminate the "pollution of the pure race", I think they had it backwards.

The world can never be whole so long as one group of people feels it has the right to be in charge of everything. Wisdom is knowing that you will never be everything, and that supporting one another is the way to get things done. That applies in genetics as well as political endeavours. When you try to breed out the "perfect human" what you wind up with is usually a genetic anomaly or a person lacking defences against disease. Look at the royal families of 19th century Europe. They in bred for so long, they had problems with hemophilia and similar disorders.

No, in my version of the new world order, there would be no more attempts to separate the ethnic groups. Marriage of any couple that loved each other would be encouraged. Eventually, genetics would produce a group of humans with all of the advantages of each background. Sure, there will always be problems with the evolution of the human form, but best to spread the genetic net than fish from a single line.

We don't need a "master race", we need a guardian race. In centuries to come, humans will evolve to be the species that cares for this planet, keeping it safe from the ravages that we currently inflict upon it. We will learn to harness resources to care for ourselves without damaging the ecosystem. Our population will find its balance with what the world can sustain. We will learn to work together toward what is truly best for our civilization.

It's a choice, we either learn and grow, or die off fighting over things that don't really matter in the big scheme of things.

I choose to grow.

A boost to self esteem.

2008-07-11T15:15:00.004-04:00

I got a major shot in the arm today.

The other day, I was in an on-line discussion forum, and posted that I felt my writing was crap compared to what I had read recently. While I still feel that I am very much lacking as a writer, the response to that remark has made me feel infinitely better.

One person said that my statement was patently bullsh*t, and that everything he had read by me was of a very high standard. Another reminded me that the only person I have to compare myself to is me, yesterday. Have I improved since then? The general consensus is that while being critical of my own work is a good thing, I went to far by calling it garbage.

Maybe sometimes we do harsh on ourselves a little bit too much. We want what we do to be good and noteworthy. If we forget the reason we took up writing, drawing or whatever, the fun goes out of it, and then what is the point? There is a fine line between being critical and wanting it right, and being obsessive.

So a big thank you to those who took my head out of my a**. I think maybe now I can get on with the chapters I have on my plate and feel better about it. At the very least, I can have fun.

Our Mellissa

2008-07-06T13:30:00.003-04:00

A happy birthday to my second oldest niece, Mellissa-Anne!

She is another reminder that I don't have any little girls anymore. I actually have to look up to her, even if she isn't wearing heels, which she can now do confidently. I swear that one of these days I'm going to have to start standing on chairs. Being looked down on by these girls is depressing.

In all seriousness though, they have grown up much better than I could have hoped. For the most part, they are good, honest and independent young women. Mellissa has come farther than we had hoped when she was little. Maybe a rough start kind of helped get things going.

She's decided on a career already, and is working towards it. She is already looking at colleges, and she still has two more years of high school. If she is pulling in Cs, she wants to be bringing home a B. If she's getting Bs, she wants to shoot for the A. This isn't a little girl anymore, this is a full blown young woman.

We are all proud of how far you've come Mellissa, and are behind you, wherever you decide to go. Just remember to come back and visit once in a while.

Commitments

2008-07-04T11:13:00.002-04:00

I was going to do a write up about the Fourth of July, but something happened today that put that by the wayside.

I was woken this morning by a phone call from the property manager of the building. They needed to show an apartment, and wanted me to check with one of the tenants if it would be okay to show hers. This was fairly early in the morning, and I was doing good to find my glasses. So, I walked over there and, afraid that I might be waking up the nice lady, knocked on the door.

Fortunately, the good woman had been up for hours already, and didn't mind if we took a person through, to show the amenities.

The person never showed up! We waited for more than half an hour, and she never came. Not so much as a phone call to explain that they would not be here. In my book, that is just the height of rudeness. If you make an appointment to be someplace, you had better darn well be there!

My parents brought me up to believe that punctuality wasn't just a courtesy. It is an obligation. If I say I'm going to be somewhere, you'd better believe that I'll be there, or at least let you know what happened.

I think the problem is that we aren't as committed to things now as past generations were. We want everything to run according to our schedules, and we want it now. We have forgotten that it is a two way street. If we want the respect, we have to be willing to show it first. To me, it is part and parcel of being a proper gentleman, to always say what you mean and mean what you say.

I always put my watch on in the morning, usually right after my glasses. I check the time regularly. If I have an appointment, I always try to be five minutes early.

It all goes back to courtesy, respect for the other, and just being a good person. I hope that when people meet me, I make a decent impression.

Another Canada Day

2008-07-01T12:53:00.002-04:00

It's that day again, time to celebrate the birth of our nation. Canada is 131 today. Odd, she doesn't look a day over 100. Ooh, bad Joe. Bad Joe.

Even in troubled times, Canada is still the only place I could ever see as home. I know that as long as I live under the maple leaf, I am going to be helped and allowed to help. Debate socialism all you want, but I wouldn't give up the health care system we have for all of the tea in China. I am free to be who I want to be, as long as I do not take that right from anyone else.

So far, Canada has not fallen into the economic quagmire that so many other nations have. Our economy isn't growing at the rate we might like, but it hasn't stalled quite yet either.

We are starting to learn as a society. We are looking for clean alternative energies, even as we supply so much of the world with crude oil. More and more people are conserving and recycling. It is in our best interests, not just ecologically but financially, to do so.

Enjoy the day, Canadians, and join us if you can from other places.

Meet your heroes

2008-06-30T07:39:00.003-04:00

Last night, I was going through a collection of e-mail that had been held up due to a system problem. One of them was an invitation by one of my favorite authors at www.fanfiction.net. He gave me his phone number, saying that he would like to discuss my writing and comments I had submitted about his. He also gave me the option of having him phone me, since he has a very good long distance plan.

No sooner did I finish typing an e-mail response than the phone rang. It was "Neb", as he is known to us in the fan fiction. He was calling me all the way from Texas, just to talk writing with me. This is a man who is widely admired in our little world of Kim Possible fandom, who has contact with a number or brilliant writers. What in the name of my great aunt Matilda's bicycle shorts was I going to discuss with him?

I am rather embarrassed to say that I made a fool of myself, going on at length about the current story line I am reading. He sucked me in with this one, and to be honest, I stand in awe of his writing abilities. I don't understand how any publisher could ever have rejected his work. He gave me a lot of insight into what I have just been reading.

If you ever have the chance, meet your heroes. Sometimes you just might learn that you have the potential to do what they do, if even on just a smaller scale. All I did was talk to 'Neb on the phone, but that was enough to have me willing to keep at this writing thing.

Taking our girl to the vet.

2008-06-28T10:39:00.001-04:00

This is our darling baby, Isabelle. Yesterday we took her for her annual physical at the vet's office. This is traumatising for an indoor cat, who only goes out in her carrier once each year. It is also expensive, but worth every penny.

She is in perfect health, according "Dr. Devin". She is carrying a little more weight than he would like to see, but that is common in indoor cats that have been spayed. He checked her teeth, and they are good as well.

This was her year for a feline distemper shot. She was very good about it, not even flinching as Dr. Hunt put the needle in. Which is more than can be said for poor Sandra, who hates needles with a passion. She just sat there and gave us her version of the puppy-dog-pout (which I must discuss in another post) as if to tell us, "I really want to go home now!"

The most difficult part of the whole process is travelling. Cats were not made to ride in hot muggy cars for half an hour each way. While the car was in motion, she was fine, but if we had to stop for more than a few seconds, she would meow at us. I felt so bad for her.

Still, she came through safe and sound, and is good for another year.

If only it were so simple with her big sister!

They grow up so fast.

2008-06-27T10:24:00.003-04:00

My youngest niece just turned fifteen yesterday. Fifteen. It's hard to wrap my head around the idea that we don't have any little girls anymore. Any day now she could start bringing home, gasp, boys.

Sure, it's a cliche, but it seems like just yesterday we saw her going to school for the first time. She used to sit in the laundry basket and let her sisters pull her around the house. She screamed when you told her it was bath time and then screamed when you told her to get out of that cold, filthy water.

Barbie dolls were replaced by mp3s and clothing accessories.

On the other hand, our baby isn't a baby anymore either.

As the youngest, we pampered her a bit too much, so she was never very independent. Now she is able to get out and do things on her own more. At her sister's graduation, she sat down the row, so that her uncle and aunt would have seats. Surrounded by strangers, and she was calm and respectful. Something like that would have thrown her into a sheer panic attack just a few months ago.

I am very proud of my Darling Darlene. She's come such a long way. I can't wait to see how far she goes.

2008-06-26T11:26:00.001-04:00

Nothing today, folks. A wicked headache has shut down my mental server and crashed my ambition hard drive.

Where does the time go?

2008-06-25T09:41:00.003-04:00

My oldest niece graduated from high school last night. Sandra and I went to the commencement ceremony.

All of a sudden, I felt... old. Where did the time go? It seems like just a few weeks ago I was in my first year at University, and I got word that Steph was born. Now, here she is getting set to start off in the same path. Somehow, you just lose sight of the fact that the kids you used to give horsey rides grow up.

It was a pretty good ceremony, as these things go. Being a Catholic school, there was a short liturgy before the program began. There were certainly enough awards and bursaries handed out. The one kid isn't going to have to pay for his first year of post secondary education, by the looks of things. In a class of 120, there were almost thirty awards.

My next oldest niece is hot on the heels of her sister. She has made great strides from a child who had a learning disability. Mellissa has actually chosen a career path, and knows what she needs to do to get there.

I remember when their biggest decision was what flavour of freezy they wanted to have in the summer. Now they are deciding what to do with the rest of their lives.

Where does the time go?

Lost on-line

2008-06-24T10:41:00.004-04:00

A few weeks back, I made a "friend" on-line. He was a fellow writer in the fan fiction site that I frequently live in. In the course of reviewing each other's work and general chatting in forums, I got to like him. He's an interesting guy, from what I can tell.

Not too long ago, his sister developed complications from a congenital illness. He was very afraid that he was going to lose her, and sent a mass e-mail out to say that he was suspending his writing activities until further notice. I wrote him a personal message, letting him know that I could understand that he had more important things to concentrate on.

Now he has decided to take down his account at fan fiction. I am not clear on the reason. It would seem that he felt that he was being disrespected by other members of the site, and that it just wasn't right for him anymore. This all happened in the course of a couple of hours last night. I never even got the chance to chat with him before he left to dismantle his account.

Maybe I'm a little over sensitive here, but I hate the thought of losing a friend without knowing what is going on. It isn't my place to tell him not to leave the site if he is not comfortable there, so my options are limited.

I did send him an e-mail letting him know that I didn't want to lose touch with him completely. He has my address, and can send me messages anytime that he wants. I hope he takes advantage of the offer. I so hate to lose people on-line.

Changing of the locks

2008-06-23T12:05:00.003-04:00

As you may recall, I wrote recently that our building superintendent suddenly resigned his position. Naturally, that meant that the master keys had to be changed. It seems that it was most important in this case. There is a major dispute about the reason he quit.

Anyway, the locksmiths were here yesterday. A letter had been circulated to let the tenants know before hand, and still several couldn't be bothered to be on hand. Of course, it was a Sunday, and nice out. The guys will come back after the property manager has had a chance to contact the people who were missed yesterday.

I happen to know the property manger from school, so he asked me to be on hand if there were any problems. You know, to kinda smooth things over if anybody had questions.

In fact, I might have a bit of a job come from all of this. They want to put an assistant super into each building that they have here in town. If it flies with head office, I might get that position. It doesn't pay much, but it doesn't require much work either. Basically, I would just be keeping an eye on the building, watching for trouble. Heck, I do it anyway.

I like to keep an eye on the place. It's home.

Sleep or the lack thereof

2008-06-22T07:55:00.003-04:00

I don't know what is wrong with me these days. If I'm not sleeping in late, I'm getting up two hours before my alarm is set to go off. There just doesn't seem to be a happy medium. Granted, I can function well enough on six hours of sleep, since my day doesn't involve any heavy physical labour.

Some research says that the human body should dictate how much sleep we should get, that we will wake up when there has been enough rest for our systems to recuperate from the previous day. Other studies suggest that we should regiment our sleep patterns, rising and going to bed at the same time each and every day. It all depends on who is doing the study and who is funding them.

When I was diagnosed as having muscular dystrophy, my doctor advised me that I should just sleep whenever I feel the need, and not force it when I don't. She said that my body would tell me when it needed to recover from stress and activity. There are going to be times, I was told, when I will have a "tired spell", and that I would learn to live around them.

Honestly though, I would love to be able to live according to some schedule. Ever since I had to resign from my last position for medical reasons, I've felt kind of in limbo. My mother says that is a result of always having had some place that I really needed to be. It would be nice to have a job that I could physically handle, but would regulate just how much I am sleeping, and when.

Besides which, a job outside of the home would get me out of my wife's hair once in a while. One of these days, she's going to get sick of me.

But that is a whole other post.

Fresh and in season

2008-06-21T15:50:00.002-04:00

My wife and I went out to get a basket of fresh strawberries today. With the sudden rise of temperature this spring, and the recent rainfall, the crop came in early this year. We love to have the berries for dessert on warm summer evenings.

I love the idea of buying locally grown produce whenever possible. It is better for the environment and better for the economy of the area. Farmers markets are a great boon, with the best produce that can be had, at the best possible price, since it didn't have to be shipped. You always know that it is fresh, and hasn't been sitting in trucks and warehouses for the last six days.

Ottawa's Byward Market used to be one of my favorite places in the world. The smells, the colors and the sounds just screamed out to me each fall. I would think that most cities would set aside some space for a good farmers market.

When my parents came to visit with me once, we made a trip to the Byward Market, especially to get some fresh produce to make supper. Is there anything can beat a salad made with lettuce picked less than twenty-four hours previously? I think not.

So, go out and support your local farmers. Plan meals around whatever happens to be in season. Your local economy will thank you, the environment will thank you, and most importantly, you stomach will thank you.

Dinner last night

2008-06-20T22:15:00.003-04:00

Supper went quite well last night actually. For the most part, people just stuck to the tables they had chosen to sit at. Nobody decided to air grievances.

My mother-in-law actually managed to put away a full order of lasagna! You have to understand, Mary weighs all of 98 lbs, and usually eats like a bird. These portions were huge, to the point of ridiculous. I don't know where my wife and I put our suppers, so it's a real mystery in my mother-in-law's case.

Conveniently, we had the photos we took of the Bluenose with us, and they made the rounds of the tables. A lot of the people who were there plan to go to either Prescott or Cornwall when she makes port again next week. It's always nice to take something to add to conversation.

Mary also won a little door prize. One person at each table got to take home the candle that the pastor had put on the tables. She also got one of the extras. There were more people originally signed up, but could not attend because grand children were graduating.

When it was time to pay the cheques, the cash register was up three or four steps. Given how much trouble I had with them, I knew that some of the older ladies would be in a similar position. Having been brought up correctly, I assisted them up and down. One; who had sat at the table with Sandra, Mary and I, commented to my wife about what a gentleman her husband was.

All things considered, it was a pleasant evening. Well worth the look of contempt the cats gave us when we got home.

When empathy hurts

2008-06-18T10:44:00.002-04:00

The dictionary defines empathy as the capacity for participating in the feelings or ideas of another. That's a pretty cold and clinical definition, from my perspective. For all intents and purposes, I can be considered empathic. I sense emotions on a high level. Something to do with subconscious reading of speech, body language and other clues that people give off all of the time.

The problem I have been having is large groups of people. It isn't easy to shut it all off. Building defensive walls takes time, and you don't always get it. On some occasions, I've been hit with the full force of what people were really thinking, and believe me, it wasn't pretty.

My wife and I are going to a church function tomorrow evening, and I am really starting to dread it. Due to recent events, emotions will be running high. I just hope the cutlery all stays on the table. Okay, that is exaggeration, but there are a lot of unhappy campers out there just now, and I really don't want to be feeling that from several directions at once.

Real empathic pain comes from when you haven't put up any barriers intentionally, because you want to be of help. It's the mental equivalent of letting somebody beat on you to relieve their frustrations. While I can take a certain amount of that, some people are just mentally very loud projectors. Some I have been known to pick up without being present except by phone or instant messaging. Every now and then, I get hit with a blow that makes me just want to curl up in a corner somewhere and hold my head for a while.

This may sound dumb to a lot of you, like I pulled something out of a science fiction novel. In fact, a lot of the descriptive points do have that source. Until you have experienced it, there is no common frame of reference. It is a very subjective feeling, and unless you can crawl into my mind, you cannot know exactly what it feels like on this end.

I don't mean to complain so much. Empathy is a good thing. It has allowed me to help people deal with grief and loss. It has kept me from falling for traps and cons. With discipline and practice, deep empathic levels can be a good tool. If more doctors and counsellors had the ability born into them, instead of trained, maybe health care would not be in the mess it is.

All I'm really saying here is to be very careful what you are projecting. You never know who is able to "listen" to what you aren't saying.

Piece of our heritage

2008-06-17T10:29:00.005-04:00

The Bluenose II pulled into port here last evening. Sandra and I, having heard about it from the local paper, went down to have a look. I must say, it was quite impressive.

For those of you who may not be aware of it, the Bluenose is a schooner ship. The original, built in March of 1921, was the fastest of her day. She was primarily a fishing vessel, but when the opportunity arose, sailors could not help but to race. She won countless races for seventeen years, remaining undefeated until 1938.

World War II saw sailing vessels phased out of the fishing fleets, and despite protests by her master and many others, the Bluenose was sold in 1942, to the West Indian Trading Company. Adding insult to injury, she was stripped of her sails and set to hauling bananas and similar cargo. She sank in 1946, after hitting a reef off of Haiti.

The Bluenose II was built in Lunenburg, Nova Scotia in 1963 from similar plans to the original. Some of the original shipyard workers contributed to her construction. The hull, sail design and rigging are exact duplicates of the first Bluenose. In 1971, she was sold to the Nova Scotia government for the princely sum of one dollar, and sails as a goodwill ambassador for that province.

The Bluenose is represented on our country's dime, representing a time when Canada was at the forefront of ship building skill and technology.

Most of what you have just read is paraphrased from the pamphlet that is handed out at the gangway whenever the ship (And don't ever let a sailor hear you call her a boat!) makes port. To many Canadians, a lot of the early history is as good as legend. The dates are fuzzy, by my generation remembers hearing the stories, and the Canadian Ministry of Heritage has made a point of documenting the history of our tall ship.

It is always wonderful when a piece of the past comes to call. We take for granted that we can go on the Internet and get all of this information if we want it. It just isn't the same as touching the rail and hearing the timbers creak in the waves. If she is open to visitors today, Sandra and I hope to go aboard. I want to feel the deck beneath my feet, and capture a bit of what those original fishermen must have felt.

Respect history. It's what made us who we are.

Family Update

2008-06-15T11:20:00.004-04:00

Happy Father's Day, everyone. It has dawned nice and sunny, so let's get out there and take advantage of it shall we?

As some of you may know, I spent several days this last week visiting with my grandparents. They have both been experiencing medical issues, so my mother wants to go up to see them as often as she can. She needed someone to drive her, with her back not being so good, so I went up and had a look for myself.

Grandma is much better. She is up and about, and very much her usual self. She doesn't seem to have had any lasting side effects from her heart attack. The doctors have told her to watch her diet, and try to keep stress to a minimum. My aunts are being wonderful about going out to the house to help her with every little thing that they might need.

Uncle Bill (as we call my grandfather) is definitely not well. Still, he isn't quite as bad off as I had believed. While he requires constant oxygen and naps a lot more than he is awake, when he is up, he is as feisty as ever, and ready to cause trouble. They say that you can't keep a good man down. In my experience, the same goes for a naughty little old man. He can even get out on his electric scooter and go for rides.

My mother's Aunt Vi passed away about a week before we went up to visit. The internment was held at the cemetery on the Wednesday. I went with my mother to represent my grandmother, who wasn't up to a trip of that length. A fair number of the family made it, considering the plot is way out back of beyond in a sleepy little hamlet called Arden.

I never really knew that side very well. All I can really say for sure is that they have certain quirks, like all of us do.

At any rate, the family is doing as well as can possibly be expected.

Use the day to spend time with your families. We only get to borrow them for a short time.

Medicine vs. Faith

2008-06-08T10:47:00.003-04:00

Every now and then you hear stories in the news about children being given medical treatments by court order. Their parents disapprove of the treatment in question on religious grounds. They feel that God will save their child if it is His will. Man is not meant to interfere.

I beg to differ with that argument.

There is an old joke about a woman in a flood, who sits on her roof praying. A bus for evacuation comes, but she declines the ride, saying that God would save her. A good man in a boat comes along and offers to take her off of her roof. Again, she passes on the offer, saying that God will spare her if He is so willing. Finally, the water is up to her neck and rescue workers in a helicopter try to lift her off of the roof. She turns them away, and drowns. When she gets to the pearly gates, she asks God why she wasn't saved. He simply stares at her and say, "I sent you a bus, a boat and a helicopter. All you had to do was take my hand."

It seems to me that we have to meet faith half way. A Divine creator surely would give somebody here the skills that are needed to help us in our hour of need. By refusing treatment, are these parents not turning away from the will of God? The Universe has gifted doctors and scientist with knowledge and ability for the extension and maintenance of life.

I agree that at present, there are boundaries we are not meant to cross. Life was designed and evolves according to a plan of its own. Tampering with that plan has lead to problems of a high order. One day we may have the knowledge and the maturity as a species to guide the design evolution, but not yet. Today, we would only breed horrors.

The point of my argument still stands. Why would a benign Creator give man the skills and knowledge to improve life, if it were not meant to be used. Satan would not give us the ability to improve life, so that argument doesn't wash. No, I think it is safe to say that medical advancement is the hand that God extends to us, so that we might live to carry out His work.

Opinions?

What the...

2008-06-06T20:31:00.002-04:00

I am so bloody mad! Our building super has resigned his position with no notice. All of a sudden yesterday, we got a letter saying that he was done effective immediately. No explanation, no real way to find out what's going on.

Now, we have always liked Sam. We always described him as a bit ole teddy bear. He looked after the building well, and always had a smile for the tenants as he was out and about. Having him here was a real selling point when deciding whether or not to take the apartment.

Ever since we got the letter, he hasn't said so much as boo to anyone. He has put up signs saying that we should call the property management head office. Or fax them rather. Like anybody has a fax machine. And without knowing what exactly is going down, what are we supposed to tell them? I did e-mail the one property manager that I happen to know personally. No answers yet.

The whole thing has just gotten my wife terribly upset. She has difficulty with sudden change. Put that together with high heat, humidity and a "change of life", and you have the makings of a major bad mood.

My mother tried to speak with him this afternoon as Dad and I were trying to get the air conditioner in. He was downright rude to her, brushing off enquires saying that his little signs said everything. I can understand being upset, but that does not excuse poor manners. I was raised to know better than that.

Sorry. I don't like to vent here, but sometimes, venting is the only way to get things off your mind.

Thanks for listening.

A writer, me?

2008-06-05T11:42:00.003-04:00

A friend of mine has suggested that I write a book. He said that a lot of the things that we have chatted about really should be in print somewhere. He went on to say that he would purchase said book.

A lot of what I would be writing can be sampled here. I would be writing on the topic of relationships, and being a traditional man in nontraditional times. It should perhaps be noted that I have said a lot on this topic to a lot of people. There are people and television characters out there that I so would like to emulate.

I think the ideal man in today's society is one like the character of Horatio Caine, from 'CSI Miami'. He is always the gentleman, even while dealing with people he would as soon see strapped to the electric chair. He is gentle and sensitive, without compromising that sense of unadulterated masculinity. His gifts with women and children in crisis is beyond reproach.

So many men today see nothing wrong with swearing in public and mixed company. A man's language should reflect his intelligence and his respect for others. Sentences peppered with four letter words beginning with F just shows a lack of vocabulary and an even deeper lack of pride in one's self.

So far, the only non-fiction I have ever written is school essays and this blog. Everything else I have out there in the public domain is fiction.

My writing has been pretty well received. Said friend has asked me to work on a special project, which I cannot go into detail about here. It has to be perfect, as far as I am concerned, because it is a highly personal gift I want to give when the time is right.

Please leave a comment and tell me if you think I could make a book work.

Polygamy

2008-06-04T11:03:00.003-04:00

There has been a lot of discussion in a forum I subscribe to about the validity of polygamy as a form of relationship. Comments ranged from the 'let them all burn in Hell' to the 'hey, unless it's forced or involves me' sort of thing. People backed there positions based on sketchy cultural data, or biblical verse, which turned out to be just as sketchy.

To be honest, I can see where polygamy might work outside of the context of marriage, either civil or religious. It would have to be a contract among consenting adults, with the option of leaving at any time. Everyone involved would have to be willing to be responsible for his or her actions at all times, and actions of jealousy would be grounds for terminating the entire contract.

Such an arrangement could be convenient for those wanting family, but not ready for the commitment of getting married. Children of the community would be raised by the community, with no regard for who their biological parent is.

All of that being said, I cannot come out in favour of polygamy as a lifestyle. To me, that kind of relationship is all about two people who are committing to each other. My wedding vows state that I will keep myself only for my wife, forsaking all others. That is what love is supposed to be all about.

Free love went out in the sixties. Thank heavens for that.

Don't know what you've got 'til it's gone.

2008-06-03T21:26:00.002-04:00

I'm going to visit my grandparents next week. They live some distance from here, so I don't get up to see them very often. I was writing fairly regularly at one point, but haven't for a while.

My grandfather is very ill at the present. His lungs have just about quit on him, the result of many years of smoking. The hospital released him when it became clear that there was nothing they could do for him. He is pretty much prepared of that.

What we weren't really prepared for was my grandmother having a heart attack. She tried to get up from bed one morning and just fell over. Fortunately, she has family that comes in on a regular basis. Her step daughter found her and got her to the hospital.

She's made a full recovery now, and is in pretty good shape for a woman of her age.

It just reminds me that we often take our family for granted. I wish I had a nickle for ever time I have heard somebody say, "I wish I had gotten to know him/her better." Why do we wait until loss to realize somebody's importance to us? Sudden loss is the worst kind, but even a lingering death sometimes seems to catch us off guard.

With Father's Day coming up, maybe now would be a good time to think about those family members you haven't spoken to in a while.

Funny...it didn't look so big in the store.

2008-05-30T16:56:00.002-04:00

My wife and I have just purchased a new box spring and mattress set. The one she had been sleeping on was so old, it was giving her major grief. We went to the store and tried out several brands and models. Eventually, we decided to splurge on a queen size to replace her double, knowing that the frame could expand to fit.

What I didn't count on was the bed being six inches longer as well. I had to take the frame apart the other way, and wound up snapping the bolts, they had been in so long and so tight. The guys who delivered the set were a little perplexed at the problem at first, until they realized the frame was, indeed, adjustable.

Funny... it didn't look so big in the store.

I don't know why it is that you never think to take a tape measure with you when buying these things. You just a assume that a bed is a bed, it should fit just fine.

Remember, ass-u-me.

It's the same whenever you buy clothes. The colour always looks spectacular in the fitting room. The cut always hides that extra two pounds you put on at the wedding you went to last month. You take the same outfit home, and suddenly that khaki colour is a pea green mud shade. What flattered your stomach and made you look like a cross between Stallone and Shwartzenager now makes you look like Fred Flintstone.

Remind me to never buy a car without taking it to different locations and lighting conditions.

Enough is enough

2008-05-29T22:43:00.003-04:00

I suppose it was just a matter of time before I had to weigh in on the whole gas price issue. Like everyone else, I am sick and tired of feeling that I am being mugged every time I have to put gas into the car. The supply of oil hasn't really changed so much in the last two years as to warrant the current price that we are paying.

At this rate, I am either going to have to give up going places, or give up eating. I'm not talking pleasure trips either. We're talking about trips to doctor's appointments, to get groceries or seeing family.

On the other hand, I have taken the price of gas as an excuse to think about the way we drive, and the vehicles that we do it in. In the city, it wouldn't mean so much. A good transit system, such as I had access to in Ottawa pays for itself in a relatively short number of trips. Living in a small town, with the best shopping being some distance away, it is another matter.

Still, I really don't need all of the engine power that our car has. Why does a car need to be able to do twice the legal limit? Also, I don't need all of the space that is wasted in the vehicle we own. As a rule, it is only the two of us in the car. I keep seeing SUVs on the road with just one person! Talk about waste.

The result of all of this thinking, I would so love to design and build my own vehicle.

Think of it as the Smart car designed for North American realities. The Daimler Smart car is fine in Europe, where they don't do such much grocery shopping in one trip as we do. If you were to extend it slightly at the rear, maybe even giving it jump seats for the occasional extra passengers, it would fit the North American market much better.

The ideal car, as I see it, would use electric motor at all four wheels for locomotion. They would be powered by batteries, which would, in turn, get their power from the smallest possible gas generator, or plug in charging, depending on availability. That is my idea of a true hybrid vehicle, using as little fuel as possible.

I once saw a cartoon (of all things), with a great quote. "A problem is just a misunderstood opportunity."

How do I get in touch with General Motors and Ford?

That's right, I'm back.

2008-05-28T11:26:00.003-04:00

I realize it's been quite some time since I last added anything at all to this blog. I probably should have shut it down ages ago, but I wanted to keep the option of coming back to it open.

For anyone who was wondering, I've been spending a lot of my time on-line in a world called fan fiction. On that site, I have posted a number of short stories based on, of all things, a Disney cartoon. I found this site, quite by accident, a few month ago. It got me started in something as addictive as crack and as time consuming as a career. Creative writing.

Remember when our teachers told us to write short stories back in grade school? Where was fanfiction.net when I needed it?

Since becoming a regular member of the site, I have been bitten by multiple plot bunnies. These are imaginary creatures that, when they bite you, infect you with story ideas. They are tricky, and breed just as quickly as standard bunnies. One of the writers from the site has been trying to come up with a defense against them, but so far the BE4000 (bunny eradicator) just keeps them under control. Anything you see or hear can become a plot bunny.

My dear wife has been very patient with me, but I must be very trying sometimes. The characters I am writing about are high school seniors, or college students, depending on the story. My vocabulary now includes such words as Boo-yah, sitch, PDP (puppy-dog-pout) and tanks, as in this is so awful, it really tanks. The younger set know exactly what I mean. My wife is still mystified if I use some of them.

Beware the writer's urge, my friends. The characters will whisper in your ear at night, when you are trying to sleep. They will not leave you alone until the story is out. Even then, they just wait until another night to keep you awake with stories to be told.

I will be posting here more often, just to get my mind out of my fiction. There is certainly enough in the news to make notes of. Real life does go on, even if we try to ignore it.

China and the Olympic flame

2008-04-10T10:53:00.004-04:00

I just want to get in my opinion about the whole China Olympics controversy. We've been seeing it on the news long enough now, and it's time to weigh in on the subject. It isn't right to say that "it's none of my business what goes on in China." The way human dignity is treated in the world is very much every one's business.
First thing to be said is that I do agree that China's human rights record is appalling and that steps must be taken to pressure the government of that country to change its policies. As one of the most populated nations in the world, they have a responsibility to be a model for other countries.
Attacking the institution of the Olympic Games is not the way to push for change. The games are a symbol of peaceful competition, the very opposite of combat for revolution. By extinguishing the flame, the protesters have lowered themselves to the standard of those who suppress freedom, not just for Tibet, but for the populace of the country as a whole. The opportunity has been lost to violence.
A better use of the Olympic torch relay would have been to have groups of protesters along the route who would all turn their backs on the torch, and block view of it with signs which display examples of human rights violations. The object is to overshadow the games with the reality of life in China, using the torch to light the dark corners where things are hidden. In a dark room, do you turn off the flashlight when looking for the fuse box?
Violence only begets more violence. Action of the type we have seen on television should always be considered a last resort. To take that physical conflict outside of China as a means of protest is simply unacceptable. We are supposed to be the civilized ones in this debate, it is high time we started acting like it. As I said, the protesters should not be stooping to the level of the people they are complaining about.
I have great sympathy for those who are being kept down by corrupt regimes around the world. I support them in their call for change. However, violence and attacking institutions of international peace is not the way to achieve that change.
I will fight for human rights. I would willingly lay down my life to protect innocents. Attacking somebody to get media attention? That is so wrong and sick.

Is that spring I see?

2008-04-06T10:55:00.003-04:00

It has been just beautiful out the last few days here, which makes me dare to ask the question, is spring finally here?
I suppose, as a Canadian, you would think I'd be used to being cooped up indoors for five months out of the year. It doesn't matter who you are or where you come from, nobody wants to be kept indoors by the weather any longer than they have to. It doesn't help the for the last two years, we have been totally spoiled by warmer than normal winters with less than average snowfall.
This year, our area is flirting with a record fall of almost fourteen feet total. The likes of this hasn't been seen since the winter of 1976. I remember that year. Ten foot snow banks were everywhere. My family was snowed in for the best part of a week, unable to get farther than the end of the driveway.
I really shouldn't complain though. Across the border, in Watertown NY, they are dealing with almost fifteen feet of snow, which is now melting and threatening to flood anything not up above river level. We aren't facing anything like that here.
That is the big benefit of all of the snow this year. We have seen enough to raise the level of the St. Lawrence River to heights that haven't been seen in years. With mild, dry winters, there just hasn't been enough to keep the system full. Millions depend on the river for drinking water. The tourism industry was hurting, with docks having to be extended yards just to get to water. This year, we won't have those kinds of problems.
I am looking forward to spring and summer this year. I have a lot of work to do, but there is a lot of pleasant stuff to look ahead to as well. For example, the landlord has created flower beds along the side of the building, and the superintendent told me that I can plant anything I want. In that spirit, I plan to put in a few hastas, some tomatoes, and some peppers. No reason a flower bed has to be merely ornamental. I might even put in a few perennial herbs, just for kicks. I'd love to grow a little mint. It's useful whenever somebody has a cold or anything.
I do have to work on the car this summer though. The body took a real beating this year. At twelve years old, most people would throw her away, but she is a good car still, and worth the task of working with fiberglass and body fill. My wife loves that car, and it has been very good to her. You don't break up a combination like that.
The longer days are here. Time to take advantage and enjoy.

Alternative vehicle ideas

2008-04-02T10:57:00.005-04:00

I've been playing with the idea of car design lately. If you spend enough time behind the wheel, I think you just have to start thinking about what you would most like to see in a vehicle.
With gas prices being what they are today, I have been thinking mostly about alternative drive designs. My thought is an electric car, receiving it's power from a small gas powered electrical generator. The combustion engine does not move the vehicle, the electric motors on all four wheels do that. The generator only charges the batteries. The system provides the best of both energy sources to the car. Electric motors accelerate and give best power through the entire range, and there are few moving parts, and the generator gives the car better range than just batteries could.
The other thing cars need today is to be sized correctly for the way we live. The trend towards suvs has to stop. Why does there have to be such a huge tank to move one person from home to work and back, with stops at the grocery store? There should be a return to the small truck and compact car. Give them enough stance to handle Canadian roads, but let's not get into overkill here people.
For my wife and myself, I'd like to see a North American version of the Smart car. It would have a small rear seat, suitable for children or two adults on short trips, that could be folded flat to hold a week's worth of groceries. In Europe, they tend to shop every couple of days, so a tiny car is fine. The streets are narrower there too. In North America, we have more space in our cities, and we tend to do our shopping in bulk. Give us a smart car that reflects this.
It would be nice to sit down with the people at General Motors or Ford and discuss the ideas I've had. It would probably never go anywhere, as long as people are willing to pay high gas prices and demand the large behemoths to feel more powerful on the road. Still, it would be nice to have my thoughts in there.

Guys don't write as much

2008-03-25T11:13:00.003-04:00

I saw on a technology show that there are far fewer men who blog than women. The most prolific writers are females between the ages of fourteen and thirty. Only 28 percent of all bloggers are male. Only 8 percent are above the age of forty. Those figures threw me for a loop. In an age when so many people talk about the communication revolution and the "information age", I would have thought the numbers would be more or less even across the board.
I shouldn't be too surprised though. Generally speaking, guys don't have a great track record for writing things down. It is usually the extraordinary or creative men who leave a written account of themselves of any kind. Men write biographies. They keep journals of daily facts and events. (Never, ever call it a diary to a guys face.) The average working man doesn't deal with the written word more than to read the newspaper. The educated ones even leave the sports page.
I'm a firm believer in the idea that people should express what they think more often. Which isn't to say that they should tear into a subject and write down a whole lot of prejudiced or opinionated nonsense. When thoughts get confined to one person, opportunities are lost. Where would we be if men like Plato and Charles Dickens had kept things to themselves? Where would we be if Leonardo DaVinci hadn't been quite so secretive with his journals?
I have browsed through the blogs before, and found some very interesting information. I saw one devoted entirely to the art of recycling. Another was all about pasta dishes. I still read the blog of Joe Ganci every day. His travel experience is a breath of fresh air to me. There is so much to be had out there, and to think that so few of us take advantage of what we have done or have to say, and leave it all undocumented. It makes you wonder why we bother having an Internet connected to so many homes.
It is a shame.
There is an old saying that history is written by the winners. I think that should now be that history is written by those who can be bothered.

The DaVince Code and questioning faith

2008-03-19T10:50:00.002-04:00

I finally got on the bandwagon and read The DaVinci Code, by Dan Brown. What you have on the surface is a very exciting adventure and mystery tale. Brown packs a lot of events into one twenty-four hour span, enough to keep a reader on the edge of his seat for several hours. It was very hard to put the book down, once begun.
The problem comes when people take a fictional story set in a real place, and begin to think of it as more. Opus Dei, a very real organization, the Catholic Church, and various other groups were quick to take offence. They called the book an outrageous case of slander. Opus Dei even has a written statement on their website, rebutting claims they allege Mr. Brown made in the book.
In point of fact, the author has accused no one of wrong doing. His story used characters set within a fictional version of church, sect and police force to carry through the plot. They chose to take it all out of the context of a story.
Faith, particularly of the religious kind, is dangerous in that fashion. The instant adherents to an ideology see anything that conflicts with that belief, they are up in arms. Of course, where pitchforks and torches were the tools in the past, today it is the Internet and the legal system. There is a campaign of information and debunking, and if at all possible, law suits, to go with anything that questions the status quo. No where is this so common as in the realm of religion and pseudo science.
I bring up pseudo science for a reason. True scientific advancement relies on the testing of theory. That's why it is still the theory of evolution, because there hasn't been enough testing time. (Evolution is a slow process.) We can safely accept the idea as fact, from the evidence we have so far, be we do not call it a law. The same holds true for the theory of relativity. In the world of scientific discovery, nothing is law until it can be proven repeatedly. Pseudo science makes claims and then refuses to have those claims tested. It is expected that people will believe and invest.
Religious faith requires blind acceptance of ideas. This isn't a bad thing, when those ideas are about morals, the meaning of our lives and abstracts. It is when religion demands that we believe something about history, or the physical universe around us that we get into trouble. History is written from a personal point of view, and is thereby flawed, inaccurate. We can trace lineage back to the times of Christ and Mohammad, but we cannot say anything definitive about them beyond the physical evidence of records.
In his books, Dan Brown had used historical groups and individuals as the basis for a good fictional tale. The minute you try to put that into the real world, you open up a can of worms that even now hasn't been closed.
I am not personally a religious man. I do not attend any regular worship, though I do some work for a parish that my mother-in-law attends services with each week. I am, however, a man of faith. I believe in a force that many refer to as God, that created everything that we know. I believe that the truth of our existence is out there, waiting for us. When we are wise enough, we will discover the answers to all of our questions. The universe is merely waiting for us to grow enough to understand.
Science and religion have been enemies, when they struggle with the same questions. That they choose to work at odds with each other is evidence of our immaturity as a race. Faith and Reason are the base pair of intellectual life. Neither works without the other. A person can only go so far on one foot, and he or she can only go so far on faith or deductive reasoning alone.
Edison once compared Faith and Science to a pair of dynamos that he was working with. Unless perfectly balanced, the system didn't work. When in harmony, the power flowed smoothly. Life is all about balance. Male and female. Work and rest. Faith and reason.
Do not ignore the ideas that come from a fictional tale, but do not accept them blindly either.

St. Patrick's Day

2008-03-16T11:47:00.003-04:00

Tomorrow is St. Patrick's day, the first holiday of spring. It seems to fall a little flat this year, with so much snow on the ground after that last major storm. Still, the days are getting longer and it has been warmer. With Easter coming early this year, a sign of seasonal change is long overdue.
St. Patrick's day doesn't really have the meaning that it should, I think. These days, if you ask the average person why we celebrate the 17th of March, they don't have a clue. To kids, it's just about good luck and wearing green. To most adults, the day is an excuse to drink a lot of beer and say, "Kiss me, I'm Irish!" (Which will get you slapped on certain university campuses, I feel obligated to point out.) The day has lost its original purpose.
St. Patrick was a catholic priest, who is attributed with bringing Christianity to the country of Ireland. Legend has it that he drove out all of the snakes, as a display of the power of God. That part, of course, is not verifiable, but makes for good press. (I understand that to this day, there are no snakes native to the emerald isles.) As most people do know, Patrick is the patron saint of Ireland, and a large percentage of male children are given his name.
I just thought I would sober up the party just a little bit by reminding everyone that they are drinking to the memory of a clergyman.
You may now return to your green beer.

A working relationship

2008-03-12T11:58:00.003-04:00

I've been thinking today about the nature of relationships that I see around me, both real and ones portrayed in fiction. The best ones all seem to have the "little things" in common. Both parties always consider the needs of others first, and not just their partners, but others in general. Small gestures of affection and respect mean a lot. Just holding a door open or helping a person on with a coat is important.
When I speak of gestures of affection though, I mean little things. A simple reaching over to touch a shoulder when needing support. There is nothing more intimate than straightening your husbands tie, or brushing hair out of your wife's eyes. Those are things that we wouldn't dream of letting anyone else do. Kids today think that showing affection is holding each other so close that you can't see light between them. Schools have to have rules about PDA (public displays of affection) because things are getting so out of hand. I know, I was guilty of it at one time myself.
There are lot of knowing smiles and inside jokes in a good relationship. What looks like silliness from the outside is a shared moment on the inside. When a couple are truly meant for each other, I can tell, because part of the time, I have now clue what the pair are talking about. It's all incomplete phrases. "Remember when John..." or "Just like my sister did." Really meaningful conversation is silent where two people are in accord. More can be said in a single glance.
True love is helping each other to a seat. It is instinctively holding hands when walking along the sidewalk, swinging your arms in unison. It is putting the second coffee mug on the counter before the other person has gotten up, and doing it even when they aren't there. It is remembering to put the toilet seat down, even in public washrooms, where it makes no real difference.
I think you have to truly grow up yourself to understand what it is that makes a relationship work. You can still have some of the inner child, but you will share that with your partner. Nothing says grown up like playing together.
Before playing the blame game in any relationship, I like to look back at a couple's past. Did I see the small things from both people? It takes more than one person. If the small signs aren't there, the big ones (like marriage, children and sex) mean absolutely nothing.
Just a thought.

In response

2008-03-10T11:07:00.003-04:00

My wife read the previous post and asked that if the poem was the true worth of a man, what was the worth of a woman? I think that is a legitimate question, deserving an honest answer.
I would have to say that the worth of a woman is the same as a man. After all, is woman not man's counterpart, equal in every way, complimentary to his strengths and weaknesses? She is all that he cannot be, and yet is the same at the core. In any relationship, balance is of essence, and male and female must be balanced.
Many older religions based everything on the balances of nature. Male and female, fire and water, it was all about the Earth being in harmony, and us in harmony with it. For several thousand years now, there has been a loss of that balance, and our world has paid the price for that loss. Economies come and go, and the environment is shot.
The women's liberation movement of the seventies didn't really help much. Radical feminism just swung the balance the other way. The principle of regaining what had been lost was smothered by the rhetoric and slogans.
We will see a return to balance, as time goes on.
But the worth of a woman is the same as that of any man. It is family, honour and love of humanity. These are concepts most often associated with womankind. Without woman, there is no family. Without the honour of women, men have no use for it amongst themselves. Women have been the guardians of decency and love for humanity since the beginning of time. Those things are as much the definition of Her as of Him.

The Worth of a Man

2008-03-08T10:07:00.002-05:00

I wrote this for a fellow I have met on a website a short time ago. We have exchanged a few stories in fan fiction, and one of his pieces inspired this one.

The Worth of a Man

Some place his value in dollars;

When it should be in his deeds.

Some ask what he gets from others;

Not how he fills their needs.

Real value is in family;

And in vows so truly kept.

Not whether in mansion or hovel;

That his family has slept.

A man's value is in honour;

And his true place we can behold.

It's in love of his fellow man;

That his worth is surely told.

Chains and doors, metaphors

2008-03-04T11:13:00.002-05:00

I finally heard back from an old friend today. We were once regular correspondents, back in high school. A day didn't go by that we didn't write each other a letter, or sometimes two. As with many relationships, we slowly drifted apart after graduation. We did write a few letters when we went away to different colleges, but they got shorter and shorter, and eventually just stopped.
Life is very much like a revolving door. People come in and stay for a time, but then, as time goes by, they have to go on about their business, and other faces and names come in to take their place. Sometimes the door swings open on a relationship more than once, but that is very rare.
More special is the person who comes into your life to stay. These are the constants, that anchors that hold us in our place in this life. We start with family, then best friends and finally spouses and children. Those faces change over time, but they don't go out of that door as easily for the most part.
I am grateful for the anchors in my life. My adopted sisters and brothers can be transitory, here for as long as they need to be and then just moving on. My wife and family are the people who are there forever, keeping me from forgetting what I am all about and where I come from.
Be sure to treat the anchors in your life with care. Keep the chains strong and the capstan oiled.

She's in.

2008-03-01T10:44:00.004-05:00

My mother-in-law is moved in. More or less. She is staying put for the next couple of nights, until the curtains are up. It's never comfortable to live in a fishbowl, where the whole world can see. Besides, her phone won't be up for a while.
I hadn't realized just how much she had pared down her furniture. She cut back to only the pieces she is going to use. She has lots of space to get around. It somehow came out looking just right. Now she can putter about and put up her pictures and things, making the apartment really hers.
Sandra and I went over to help her unpack. Most of what she had there were dishes and ceramic nick-knacks. Most of the personal items had gone to her temporary home. She has the whole of the month to move them.
I didn't dare try to put anything away in the kitchen. As much as the bedroom is a place of privacy, the kitchen is a very personal room. Each person works differently in there, according to their needs and abilities. That method and set of routines determines where things should be put. My mother-in-law is set in a very early morning routine, and prefers simple meals. She has back problems, so she can't bend over. She has to keep the things she uses daily at a comfortable level.
Even setting up our kitchen took time and thought. My wife is vertically challenged, as am I, and neither of us is really supposed to be climbing on stools. This means that the top shelves of the cabinets winds up being deep storage.
Mary has the advantage of the spare room, and I think it will turn out to be a nice place for her to sew and work on things, and keep materials from invading her living space. If she feels like it, she can put a spare bed in there, or just close the door and forget the room.
The apartment suits her needs very well. She will be happy there for many years.
It is summed up by the fact that, before she got there to move in, there was a sign put up on the wall outside of her door. "Bless this home." Welcome home, Mom.

Writing and theololgy

2008-02-28T10:31:00.004-05:00

How is it that characters can take over when you start writing? Everyone likes to think that it is a God-like position, writing a story. In my experience, there is no control to be had. I've written three fan fictions and am currently working on the fourth. I might get three or four paragraphs on paper (I still use pen and paper to get going. Composing at the keyboard isn't me. I am SO thankful for recycling.) before the characters take over and do their thing, and I'm just along for the ride.
This leaves me with a rather nagging and worrisome question. What if the Universe was created, and then just kind of had to go its own way? Let's take the existence of God as a given, for the time being, and further assume that he created all that we know, like an author writing a book. If the characters have taken over the whole endeavor, what is the end result going to look like?
When I am writing, things usually work themselves out. The people have defined characters that make them behave in certain predictable ways. I merely give them a situation at the start, and they then resolve it in their own way.
In a situation like this, are we capable of making the right decisions? Story plots are relatively simple compared to real life, and they tend to come only two or three at a time. Life comes at you all at once.
I just hope the Author of our story doesn't develop writer's block.

#$%^ machines

2008-02-26T10:41:00.003-05:00

Okay, technology has it in for me today.
My e-mail server is out, and I have a lot of stuff that I do over e-mail. I really need the connection to be working properly, at least for the next two days. The Pastor was to get back to me so I can finish the bulletin to be printed on Wednesday. I've even resorted to unplugging from this computer and trying it on the laptop. No go, it is definitely the server.
Ever had days when you just can't seem to get anything to go right? Oh well, these things do sort themselves out, and with so many people now working via the Internet, these situations will arise.
It did point out to me the biggest advantage of the laptop thought. All of the connections are right there in front of you. You don't have to lie on you back working blindly at wires to get what you need. Not to mention that whole aspect of portability. Once we have the wireless router, I can work from anywhere in the apartment. Need a quiet moment, go to the bedroom.
Anyway, I hope the service provider gets things worked out by the end of the day. I have work to do. Until then, I play.

Mary's new home

2008-02-24T12:42:00.003-05:00

I went and saw my mother-in-law's new place yesterday. Forgive me if I'm a little green with envy. It's a gorgeous apartment, with a lot of natural light and big, open spaces. It's large enough to move around in, without being too much for her to keep up.
I can so picture all of her favorite things in it. She can set herself up on the balcony on summer mornings, sipping her cup of coffee. She will enjoy the view and be comfortable. Evenings can be spent in comfort with a couple of friends and a pot of tea. She even has a spare room for when one of the ladies wants to stay over.
It will be so good to have her settled permanently. She deserves a happy home to come back to after a day of running errands with friends or for the church. It will be a nice place to visit her on Christmas Eve and other holidays. Conveniently, it lies halfway between Cathy' place in Cornwall and ours. She is in her favorite town, where she can get just about everything she needs within a ten minute walk.
If we could have afforded it, we would so have been in there. But then, the landlady is trying to keep it all senior citizens in there. There aren't enough places that older folks can afford these day, and you have to admit, seniors are a lot easier on the property. The apartment has all of the things that we wanted when we were looking, and has the advantage of being in my wife's home town.
Yes, I think my mother-in-law will be happy there for many, many years.

Where have I been lately?

2008-02-23T11:23:00.004-05:00

I know it's been a while since I last posted. I've been spending most of my time writing and reading fan fiction. It's one of those computer applications that, once you start, it is very easy to get addicted.
On the other hand, it's a creative media as well. If you tend to get plot lines running through your head when watching a television show or movie, this is a good way to let them out. Apparently, a lot of people have this kind of affliction, because there are millions of stories available to read and review. In a lot of categories too.
Sandra has been rather upset with the amount of time I've been spending at the computer though. There are things that she would like to do as well, and we only have the one Internet connection. It would be nice to have two computers on-line. Then we could do some stuff together. Which would throw some of her friends for a bit of a loop. Our nicknames in the game site are very similar. We haven't been on at the same time since we moved.
Computers and the Internet were supposed to bring people together, but used in excess, they can get in the way of a relationship. It isn't unusual these days to have a couple in separate rooms of a house, chatting on their computes. That has to be the craziest thing. When we were in separate apartments, before we got married, we did that a lot. There are benefits to having only one computer on-line.

Say what?

2008-02-17T11:11:00.003-05:00

I was just wondeing if maybe I'm a little more out of touch than I thought. You see, I was reading some stuff on a website the other day written by a guy who is eighteen. There was a lot of stuff there that I never would have dreamed of, never mind put into print in a public forum. Is it me, or are kids less concerned about quality and more about sheer volume?
My niece has pointed out a tendancy on my part towards "foggeyism". I do talk a lot about the way things were when I was in high school. I guess Jeff Foxworthy was right. You know you've reached adulthood when you're standing on a balcony during spring break in your boxers, shouting, "Keep it down, some of us have to get some sleep!"
Which implies by this time that I am old.
Today's kids generally don't seem to be able to speak without cursing every other word. The letter F gets a lot of air time these days. It used to just be few of the boys were like that. Now you just have to go through a mall, and it's coming out of the mouth of what would otherwise be a sweet young lady.
Speaking of which, nothing is a bigger turn off, girls, than a pretty young woman who ruins the effect by shoving a cigarette into her mouth. That goes for guys too. You can be rugged and handsome, but if your breath could knock down a small building...
Okay, I admit it, I'm old.

How we govern ourselves, to death.

2008-02-15T11:06:00.003-05:00

I'm going to come right out and say it. I just don't get politics.
I've been keeping a loose eye on events happening south of the border, and I still don't get how things are done down there. As nearly as I can understand it, delegates from each party in each state get together and vote for a nominee. Who voted for the delegates in the first place? Who is going to determine that those delegates vote for the person that the people he or she represents really wants?
Of course, I have the same questions about the electoral college. In the last couple of presidential elections, I kept hearing about how Bush was getting more of the electoral college votes, but less than a third of the popular vote. In a two person race, is that really possible? If so, I have to question just how representative the electoral system is.
Then there is the whole business of voting machines. Come on, people! Why do you need a machine to vote. You get a piece of paper with the names of the candiates clearly printed, and put an X by the one you want. If you want something that counts faster, just make a scanner to read the marks on the paper ballots, like they used to do in school with multiple choice tests. It's pretty hard for a number 2 pencil to break down. If one of the candidates doesn't agree with the count, they can supervise a recount, along with a neutral party.
As with all things that human beings do, we have complicated the way we govern ourselves so much, we actually have to send people to university to explain it to the rest of us. I always thought it was supposed to be one citizen, one vote, and the most votes won. Isn't that the idea behind democracy?
Then again, here in Canada we have an equally absurd system, where there are multiple parties, each trying to pull the country in sixteen billion different ways. Even within the parties there is no unity of direction. People sometimes wonder why it takes so long to get anything done. It's like the old adage says, there are two things people should never see being made, hot dogs and laws. It makes both of them not fit for consumption.
To be honest, I would just as soon give the partisan system a pass. Candidates should have to stand on their own merits, propose legislation and then vote on it as the citizens he or she represents want. No more "party whips". That is democracy in it's truest form.
Lobby groups are another topic all together. Maybe another day.

The V-day invasion (of the mall)

2008-02-12T11:17:00.000-05:00

Well, the big day is getting closer. It's V-day people, let's get into uniform and try to find intelligent ways to express our love this year. A Valentine's card and a quick peck on the cheek ain't gonna cut it guys.
And I am talking to my fellow males out there. We have earned a reputation for being pretty lame when it comes to the romance department anymore. The longer we are in a relationship, the faster that ability to woo the woman we chose starts to atrophy. It's like some kind of clinical disease that affects half of the population. There really ought to be a telethon to find a cure. Maybe if we got Julia Roberts and Kathryn-Zeta Jones to host it?
I'm partial to Meg Ryan myself.
But back to the topic at hand.
I'm trying to put together something nice for Sandra for Valentine's day. She has tournaments that she is hosting on a website that night, but I'm all for trying anyway. She puts up with so much from me. I'm lazy and a slob much of the time, and I don't spend enough time doing the things that I used to. Bubble baths and hour long massages, you get the idea. I used to do that for her all of the time.
At one time, we were regular visitors to an on-line chat room. She would tell the girls all about the things that I had done for her that night, and they would get jealous and ask how she got me so well trained. The guys used to yell at me to stop, that I was making them look bad.
It's high time I got back into the routine of doing little things like that again.
It is the smallest, daily things that mean the most too. Remember to say "I love you" before going out of the door. A quick shoulder massage while she's at the computer can go a long way too. Pulling out all of the stops on Valentine's Day, Christmas and her birthday (You do remember her birthday, don't you?) just doesn't cut it, bub. Women are like investments, it's for the long term, and if you want to see any kind of return, you have to check with them often.
I have just offended every female who reads this post. It's so hard comparing women to anything. If there is a way to put your foot in your mouth, a guy can find it just by opening his.
So, let's get ready to hit the romantic beaches gentlemen! Get your kit together, we launch at dawn of February 14th. There are no excuses this year, short of death or losing your job because you didn't take that business flight. Even then, get the gift and card now, just in case.

Insurance leads to technology questions

2008-02-11T11:23:00.000-05:00

Sandra and I have an insurance policy on the contents of our apartment. I'm sure this is not unusual, but it does bring me to a very interesting thought though. Unfortunately, to get there, I have to deviate a little. Bear with me a moment.
Sandra was discussing our policy with a friend, who advised her to look closely at the policy, to be sure that we had "replacement value" as opposed to "cash value" stipulated on it. Other friends had lost everything in a fire, and what the insurance company gave them was cash to buy furniture at a depreciated rate from what they had owned. So we checked our policy, and we are fortunate enough to be covered to the maximum value to replace our furniture and belongings with "an equal style, model and usefulness as was previously purchased without deduction for depreciation."
This led to wondering if we had enough coverage, and how to go about claiming if there were an accident. So, for the better part of three weeks, Sandra and I went room by room doing an inventory. It turns out we have a lot of stuff. So, Sandra's friend lent us her digital camera to take pictures of everything. We keep a disc, the insurance company gets one, and a third goes to her mother's place when she is settled in.
Which brings me to the real point of my story. The memory card in the camera.
When we had taken all of the pictures we felt we needed, we went and got the data on the card transferred onto a compact disc. This thing fit into that tiny fifth pocket in the side of my jeans. It's smaller than a potato chip, but it holds more information than the computers that sent men to the moon. I got to thinking about how fast the industry has really been moving, and to be honest, the implications are mind boggling.
Does anyone out there remember floppy discs? I mean the ones that actually were floppy, great big, thin things, with warning stickers about magnets and heat and stuff. I think I have just technologically dated myself. The computer equivilent of cutting down a tree and counting rings is counting the number of data storage devices you remember that are no longer being used. Which makes me a canidated for the new Microsoft Jurrasic Park.
I once said that the internet was a repository for just about all of human knowledge. All of that knowledge is now on so many kinds of storage, I don't think it will ever be totally lost. It will just be a question of our being able to read it. Laptops don't even have a built in disc drive anymore. It's a cd or memory stick now. Apple even has come up with a slim computer that doesn't even seem to have space for a memory stick.
How do they put a hard drive into the thing?
Okay, now I'm just making my head hurt.

In time of need

2008-02-09T10:17:00.000-05:00

A dear friend of mine is scared. Her father is dying and there is nothing really to be done about it. They have always been close. She sent an e-mail to a lot of us, letting us know what was going on.
The best I could do was offer my prayers, such as they are. I am not a deeply religious man, though I have been called spiritual. I wrote out Psalm 23, "The Lord is my Shepherd" for her, and let her know that she could talk to me when she is sad.
The odd thing is that I did all this for a young woman I met in an on-line chat room. She appealed to the big brother in me. I can't really be said to know her that well, just what she has shared with me in private chats by messenger. How is it that I get so involved in other people's lives without meaning to?
I've been adopting little sisters since I was in grade three. They come and go, but when they find themselves in trouble, they always know to come to my doorstep. I like to think that just being there is a comfort sometimes. It's what a big brother does. I might not hear from any of these people for years at a time, but when the need is there, so am I. It's not a bad way to live, to be truthful.
I think, if we all just gave a little bit more of ourselves, the world would be a much more comfortable place to live in. Once you are involved, there isn't time or room in your heart for hate, prejudice or fear of one another. Religions of all stripe have been trying for millenia to pound that into our heads. Is that the definition of spiritual as it has been applied to me?
All I know is, I mean to be here when I'm needed.

Me and my hats.

2008-02-07T12:06:00.000-05:00

I wear a lot of hats. I'm a husband, son, brother, friend and neighbour. I'm also, counsellor, legal advisor, financial planner, administrative assistant and part time author.
Sometimes, I never know which hat I'm supposed to be wearing.
For example, last night, my best friend took me out for a cup of coffee. He was getting frustrated with a problem that his wife is having with her employer. It's got her very upset, just the whole situation. My friend wanted a quick piece of advice, just a little of something out of my legal advisor's hat.
It can be a little annoying sometimes, being a jack of all trades and paid employee at none. It's like I have a lot to offer, but nobody is willing to put a price on it. Oh well, at least it isn't going to waste. If you don't use it, you lose it.
Still, it would be nice to have a bit of a heads up when people need me to put on a hat. It could be a little embarassing to put on the chefs hat and need to be the counsellor. Eggs and teen angst don't mix!

Mother-in-law update

2008-02-06T10:30:00.000-05:00

My mother-in-law may have a new apartment. She and Sandra's sister went to see it yesterday. It's a beautiful two bedroom place in a security building geared toward seniors. It has a lot of natural light, and the landlord take care of the garbage and recycling, so she won't even have to deal with that.
She sounded very excited about it when she phoned here. She was actually thinking about where she would put things. That's a good sign. Every other time she's seen a place, she's hemmed and hawed about it, and then decided against it for one reason or another.
The big sticking point with her on this place was the stairs. She didn't want anyone to think that she took this place because she didn't want me to visit. (I have trouble with stairs, and avoid them when I can.) I assured her that I could manage a couple of flights once a week for the sake of visiting with her. It's silly of her to put so much thought into my ability to access an apartment. As long as she's okay with the steps, that's all that matters.
It will be nice to see her in a good, safe and clean apartment though. I hate the idea of her staying someplace she doesn't like because the housing authority can't get off their butts and get one of the apartments ready for her. Besides, the housing units aren't nearly as nice as this place. Sandra and I actually saw this one being built.
Mary will have a nice river view from her balcony doors. She'll be able to go to see her friends, and sometimes have one stay overnight, once she gets a spare bed that is.
I've got my fingers crossed. If she passes this one up, I may have to pinch her.

Happy Birthday, Internet

2008-02-04T11:29:00.000-05:00

It's hard to believe the internet is only twenty-five years old. Somehow, it seems like it's been around forever. Even before I ever laid hands on a computer, I'd heard about the web. Of course, in those days, it was knowledge in the abstract. Our community didn't get access to the internet unitl the late nineties.
This all hit home yesterday. I had been wanting to get a new avatar (yet another concept that is relatively new) for my facebook site. You just plug in the generalities of what you want, and up come hundreds of thousands of links. I don't think there is a single topic that hasn't been posted somewhere in cyber space. It's like the collective knowledge of the planet is at your fingertips.
The drawback to this is that a lot of younger kids don't feel the need to learn facts anymore. When they are asked to write an essay on a topic, they will go to the internet, get the information and then paste it together into a paper. They don't bother to read the important stuff and draw conclusions from it anymore, to actually get something out of the assignment. What happens on that fateful day when they find themselves in a place without internet access? (Though the odds of that are getting smaller and smaller each day.)
It is comforting to know that everything, good and bad, that mankind has ever created is out there somewhere though. As long as one server and a couple thousand hard drives are out there, the sum of human knowledge is almost impossible to lose. There might be gaps, but it will be mostly intact. One day, somebody will need that one obscure piece of our time to solve a critical problem, and it will be there with a little digging. It's like how the monks saved so much from being lost in the dark ages by keeping all of those books.
The funny thing is that those books, which formed the basis of the rebirth of civilization, can now be found on the internet!
Remember, when you upload anything, it's going into humanity's collective heritage.

Happiness is not a destination

2008-02-03T12:19:00.000-05:00

A fellow blogger was discussing happiness. He was at a point in his life where he wasn't sure if he was on the path that he really wanted to be on, or where he really wanted to be. Mostly, he was just a little disillusioned with the travelling he does.
Some of us spend our whole lives searching for what or who will make us happy. Truth be told, we spend so much time in the search, sometimes we forget that it might be right under our noses.
My friend's problem (I've adopted him as a friend, he just hasn't realized that yet.) is that he isn't sure if he would be happier settled in one place than being on the go, looking for that next path of adventure just over the horizon. At some point, all of us ask that question. Whether we are the "homebody" never going more than fifty miles from where we were born, or the world traveller, always looking to the next voyage before the final one.
Happiness can be found wherever we are. That is the only place it can be found. If you are looking for it, just think about where you are, what you are learning about yourself and the place you find yourself in. Many a man has gone nuts thinking that paradise is over the next sand dune. As I told my friend, happiness isn't a place on a map. It is our hopes, dreams and memories. We take it with us, just as a tortoise takes its shell.
Go out and enjoy where you are. Let what you have to do take you where you are needed. When you want to come home, we'll have the table set and a warm fire on the hearth. We all have the same home. Life is just the journey we make to do what needs to be done until we finally make it back full circle.

Writing for fun, but no profit

2008-02-02T00:28:00.000-05:00

I have discovered, through my oldest niece, the world of fan fiction. For those of you not familiar with it, it's a forum for people who like a given television show or movie to write their particular story ideas. People write Harry Potter stories, "alternate universe" stories, where things occur in a different way than the original author wrote it.
As you know, I'm a Kim Possible fan. When I read some of the stories that are in there, I just about went ape. Some of these people are really talented writers. A couple of stories really appealed to me, so I reviewed them. They also gave me a launching point for my own story.
I'm not just sure where this thing is going to go. I've started writing a thousand stories, and they all wound up in the recycle bin on the computer. They just seemed too lame. This time, using a cartoon show as a jumping off point, I don't have to create something from scratch. I just have to put the characters into a situation, and let them react normally. There in lies the beauty of fan fiction.
On the other hand, I feel like I have to be true to the characters as they were created. Many authors in fan fiction feel at home taking liberties with the behaviour of the characters, or the basic personality. I think I have to approach it from the point of view as if I were caring and feeding somebody else's pets. I'm responsible for what happens to them when the owner isn't looking.
Maybe there could be a manual for the care and maintenance of another person's intellectual creations. Of course, that would take away the fun "what if" nature of the medium.
Anyway, stay tuned, and I'll let you know how it turns out.

Another move

2008-01-31T12:53:00.000-05:00

My sister is getting set to move again. The house she has been renting is just too much for her. She really only took it as a favour for a friend. Between that and being stuck in a town that has, like, nothing, she has had enough.
It isn't easy to find a place in town here though. She does have certain requirements. Not all of them are what you might expect.
For one thing, ghosts are out! The house she is in now is haunted. I can't prove that of course, but there have been some really weird things go on when nobody is looking. The ghosts apparently took exception to the way the tree was decorated this Christmas. Two of the ornaments FLEW off of the tree and smashed.
The other key is a private enterance. My youngest niece has issues with apartments. When she was little, she had an incident with a neighbour, nothing that hurt her, but enough to scare her so that she doesn't like apartment buildings. Her stress levels are high enough right now.
Then there is the rent. My sister is on a fixed income, like myself, so she has to be picky. That makes things just that much tougher.

I won!

2008-01-30T10:39:00.000-05:00

I just won a book by my favourite comic strip artist! Each month the studio runs a trivia contest, and three of the people who provide the correct answers get one of the collection books. I've been working on getting as many of the books as I can.
Your teachers were right, it pays to pay attention to what you are reading!

The measure of a man

2008-01-29T10:04:00.000-05:00

Okay, you have two minutes to get the obvious joke out of the way. (Hums "Naked Mole Rap" to self while waiting.)
It seems that we spend an awful lot of time debating the image of womanhood that is put up to young girls these days. Society demands they be pretty, extremely thin and still willing to be at the beck and call of men. I don't say that we should not be talking about and changing these attitudes. All I'm saying is that we haven't done enough talking about what is expected of the other half of the population.
From where I sit, it seems that society is demanding that men be even more rugged and muscular than ever before. The ideal man may have lost the cigarette and the can of beer, but he is still required to have just the right amount of hair, be no less than five foot seven and able to lift a Volkswagen.
Men are still supposed to avoid crying in public, especially in front of other men. We are supposed to hold all of our emotions, while at the same time show that we are sensitive. Did I miss something here? Aren't those two things diametrically opposite?
When asked, women often say that they are looking for personality and a sense of humour in a man. Right! Only if it comes in just the right package. They will often overlook what is obviously a lack of social skills, like being able to string more than three words together, for rock hard abs.
If all of this sounds a little bitter, I'll be truthful (One of the REAL measures of masculinity.) and admit that I am. I heard all of the old cliches when I was younger. "You're a nice guy, but... Can't we just be friends... I'm not looking for a relationship right (stares at "hot guy" going down hall) now." You get the picture.
To me, the man I always wanted to be was handsome, yes, but much more.
I think a true man is one who is honest to the people around him, but honest to himself too. He doesn't delude himself into thinking he knows everything. If a MAN gives his word, he keeps it, or demands the consequences. Real men are concerned with the reputation that goes with his name, and the name of his family. That is one of the old standards that I will stick by.
A real man is not afraid to tell you when he is sad, scared or worried. He won't burden you with his problems, but when the time is right, he will cry honest tears. He will call for help when he is in over his head. There is nothing wrong with showing your feelings, and so much trouble to be had when they are bottled in. For one thing, that is not being honest with the people around you.
I said that a real man will call for help when he gets in over his head. That said, I think a proper man does his best to stay out of that situation. He thinks before letting his temper or his pride get the better or him. Trying to jump your bike over a ditch on a dare is not bravery, boys, it's stupidity. Learn the difference!
There is a lot to be said for a guy who can stand out on his own for what he knows to be right, even when the people around him cannot. That independence is what separates us from herd animals.
There is the true measure of a man. It's the things that can't be seen or put into numbers. What does a man stand for? As the song goes, "You've got to stand for something, or you'll fall for anything./You've got to be your own man, not a puppet on a string." When my time on this world is over, I want to have stood for something, an idea that is far bigger than me. Before I am scattered to the winds and waves, I want people to remember me as being "a husband, a son, a brother, a neighbour and a good man."
I haven't always lived up to my best ideals, but I am trying.

Parenting (as seen by a childless man)

2008-01-28T11:25:00.000-05:00

Today I want to quickly refer all of you back to my post about apathy.
I was visiting with my mother, shortly after writing that letter. I was telling her that I had discussed the topic briefly with Pastor, and that the letter was the result. When I described to her the content, she was rather surprised at how closely our viewpoints were on the topic.
I just call that proper parenting. To my way of thinking, your child should wind up with your values, or be opposed to those values.
Look at it this way, if parents have done their job right, they have instilled values and morals by example, and by providing consequences when the child does wrong. When the proper example is shown, and reinforced by the larger community, (Hilary was right, it does take a community to raise a child.) then the kid should grow up carrying those same ideals. Kids absorb so much in the first five years of their lives, and parents are the primary source.
On the other hand, it is possible for a child to see the examples of his or her parents, and decide that those behaviours or morals are not right. This usually happens when children get out into the larger world of school and playmates. This is the critical time for parenting, if you want a child to behave in a certain way. When a child sees that his or her parents are behaving in a way that society deems wrong, he or she will either defend the family way, since these are his or her parents, or decide that society must be right.
Changes of values within a family don't come out of nowhere. There has to be a clear reason for the child to turn his or her back on the teachings of a young lifetime.
There are some values of my father's that I have not chosen to follow, and some of my mother's that I left behind as well. These things aren't bones of contention, they are just beliefs that I hold differently from them. I accept their right to believe as they do, and act accordingly. They have awarded me the same respect, because I have earned it by being the best man that I can be.
What it all boils down to is that parenting should have a kind of miraculous appearance. When done right, it should seem like the parent has done nothing at all. When the child turns out right, and the parents agree with his or her decisions, they should be surprised. When the child has gone a little off the path that they would have chosen, the parents should take a look at what they have done and said, and then decide if maybe the kid made a wrong turn. They aren't necessarily the cause of the mistakes, but it never hurts to look first, and then question.
For the most part, I think parenting is a matter of leading by example, and answering questions as honestly and openly as possible. Don't try to raise the perfect child. Try to raise your child as best you can, and then leave it to them to finish the job. You may be surprised at just how well things will turn out in the end.

Naked Mole Rap

2008-01-26T11:55:00.001-05:00

A clip from my favourite, juvenile pastime. Too bad real naked mole rats are so butt ugly!

Hope

2008-01-25T11:15:00.000-05:00

Yesterday's post was a diatribe on the topic of apathy, the lack of caring by a person for the others about them or society at large.
Let's look on the other side of the fence today. Even where you find apathy, there is always the chance to find hope. Where there is even one person who can see the world around him or her, there is the chance for change.
I have begun to see a lot of hope for the world our children will create from what we leave them. Children are learning about the mistakes that we have made, and learning from them. We may have been slow at first, to see the signs of what man has done to the world, but now that the ball is rolling, things will be done to make amends at a quickly increasing rate.
Twenty years ago, who ever heard of recycling? Now, every home does some part in conserving resources. We are creating newer, cleaner products every day, because people can see, and demand that companies give them that option. Sometimes it takes a little economic push to get people to overcome the inertia of the way they have always done things. Now, we care, and all sides of our society are feeling the push.
I begin to see the economy in a better light, despite what the news says about recessions. We are learning to do more with less. I have high hopes that the new industries of waste recycling, environmentally friendly energy and telecommunication (beyond the marvels that we have now) will eventually make a world where all of us can put our talents to best use, and not have to worry about where that next meal is coming from.
I can even foresee a day when war has run it's course. Violence may long be a part of us, we descended from hunters after all, but we will get past that. As harming others no longer gets us what we desire in this world, and the differences between us grow smaller, what would be the advantage of trying to destroy? Religious fundamentalism is the last thing that the world will go to war over. Even that will become too weak a reason to kill, in a few generations time.
By way of example, I give you the Protestant/Catholic battles of northern Ireland. It was thought that neither side would ever give up that battle, until one side had wiped the other off the landscape. Fighting has given way to talking out differences, and realization that there is more in common. The last generation of street warriors howl, knowing that the end is near. I predict the same for the Islamic Fundamentalists and the extreme right-wing Christian movements. We might have to listen to them whine, but in a few generations, they well go out, not with a bang of bombs, but a whimper of old men who did not get their way.
The world gives us glimpses of what it can be, if only we open our eyes and do what we know to be right. When each of us does that, there is hope. Every child born could be the one who makes that hope a reality. Does our salvation walk among us even now?